OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

Well, my first day of the new shift was okay.

At least, once I got to work.

I set the alarm for 3:45. Plenty of time to get up & get ready for work. I woke up before the alarm went off because I had to pee. I looked at the clock. 4:30. For some reason, all I noticed was the 30 part, not the 4 part. Cool, I thought. An extra 15 minutes to fuck off.

Got up, peed, yawned, scratched, stumbled into the living room. Sat on the couch for a couple minutes waking up, then went in the kitchen & made an enormous batch of Malt-O-Meal. Carried it back into the living room & sat down. Looked up at the clock.

4:56.

I had 4 minutes to get dressed, get my lunch together, & get to work.

Not going to make it.

No way in hell.

Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've driven 60 miles an hour down the highway with a steaming bowl of Malt-O-Meal on your lap.