Officer Honey

You wouldn't think a town that doesn't even have 200 people would need 6 police officers.

You'd be wrong.

There are 3 full-time & 3 part-time officers. The one I see all the time is a woman. My brother was helping us move some furniture & she pulled him over. I don't remember if it was for rolling through a stop sign or risking life & limb screaming 32 through town. Luckily, The Man was with him. He's a good man to have around when you need to lay it on thick. He started to turn on the charm but made the mistake of calling her Honey.

Big mistake.

She told him she wasn't his honey, she was an officer of the law.

So now whenever we talk about her we call her Officer Honey. I don't even know her real name. Hopefully she doesn't read the Daily Cud. Or she has a good sense of humour. Either one works for me.

Today Officer Honey was driving up & down through town woop-wooping her siren & flashing her lights. The Man & Curtis were outside doing a little more yard work when she drove by our house. She asked if there were any kids here. The Girl is too old to be considered a kid, so I wondered who she was looking for. Hoodlums causing terror & mayhem? A runaway? Is someone missing? Just last night Winfield made the news because the local child molester that just got out of prison already got arrested for doing it again. Maybe she wanted to interview potential victims.

No.

She was just letting everybody know Santa's going to be at city hall tonight. Apparently he was in the car with her. So now all the little kids are going to think Officer Honey arrested Santa. Pulled that sleigh right over, probably gave him a breathalyzer test. Sometimes it's hard to tell if somebody's just jolly or skunk ass drunk. You know there's more than one reason for that red nose & those rosy cheeks.