It's All In The Wrist

Tell me if this sounds familiar.

You come home, your dog's overjoyed to see you. She runs, jumps up on you, trying to give you as much doggie loving as possible without physically splitting in two. You pet her, tell her what a Good Girl she is, and go on about your day.

Then you do something...pick up a cell phone, take a drink...and smell something horrible. 'Oh, my God, what is that?" you think, and then realized the stench in question is coming from your hand. That's when it hits you.

The dog.

You petted the dog, and now your hand smells 'like a dead man's ass' as The Man says.

It must be nice to be able to find something that smells so amazing you want to roll all over it so later on you could sniff your shoulder or paw or whatever and smell it all over again.

It's just a shame that what they think smells so amazing really smells like a dead man's ass.

I would roll in chocolate chip cookies or drier sheets, not unidentified biological waste.

But I have a technique to deal with my dog's irrational desire to roll in stanky stains.

It's all in the wrist. If you watch your dog you can watch him or her sniff everything that catches it's attention. If you watch closely enough you can tell when mild interest turns into "Oh, my God, I have to roll in this!" If you time it just right, when the dog starts to fall over and roll in whatever it is, you can give the leash a little pull.

I'm not saying yank the dog off it's feet, just pull enough so the dog falls a foot or so away from whatever stinky thing it wants to enjoy smelling later.

Time it just right, and pull it just right, and I can let Leeloo roll to her heart's content and not be anywhere near the actual source of the stink. Usually it's Leeloo, not Snoopy, wanting to roll around like she's having a seizure so she can smell something again later on. She squirms around, kicking her back feet like a can-can dancer on crack. You can tell she's having a blast, loving every minute of it.

What she doesn't realize is later on when she wants to relive that stinky spot next to the bush on the corner all that stink is still down next to that bush, not smeared into her fur. I can just see her, sniffing her shoulder and wondering what went wrong. "Where is that adorable scent?"

That's just the cost you have to pay for being a Good Girl.