Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Why the Search Committee Is Unable to Recommend this Applicant for the Post of Senior Pastor


Applicant is not married.  The Committee feels a pastor’s wife is a valuable asset in social activities and as a liaison with the women of our congregation.

Applicant has had no actual pastoral experience, having been only an itinerant  revival speaker.

He is unable to show any salary history, kept no records of the irregular offerings that he received, and is unfamiliar with IRS forms.

He has no residence of his own but, in his words, “crashes on friends’ couches” wherever he happens to be.

The Ministerial Alliance reports that he is not a member in good standing and is in fact the subject of several complaints by local pastors, including:

(1) Excessive drinking

(2) Associating with disreputable characters

(3) Arguing in public with local pastors

(4) Ridiculing a prominent church donor

(5) Attracting crowds on street corners and impeding traffic

(6) Practicing medicine without a license

 

The Ladies Auxiliary of one church reported he argued about their prices at a rummage sale, overturned a table, and threw their cash box on the floor.

 

A known prostitute was seen greeting him in public with a big kiss, which he made no effort to resist but seemed to positively enjoy.

 

Absent for the annual Men’s Fellowship Dinner, he was spotted entering  a topless bar instead and responded to criticism by laughing and singing part of  a Hank Williams, Jr., song, “I’ve Got Friends in Low Places.”

Members of his own family have voiced concern about his mental health.

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