Jesus at the DMV

Jesus at the DMV

 

We can get some idea of the complexity of the historical Jesus from his name alone.  Imagine this scene if he appeared at a modern Department of Motor Vehicles.

“NEXT!”

“Thanks.  Um . . .  I’ve had a little trouble filling out this form.”

“Okay, let’s start with the first and simplest thing:  Name.  What is your first name?”

“People around here know me as Jesus, but—“

“Wait a minute.  How do you spell that?”

“Around here, it is J-E-S-U-S, but in the old Greek it’s I-E-S-O-U-S.”

“We’ll stick with J-E-S-U-S.  In case you haven’t noticed, this ain’t Greece.”

“Well, actually, the name on my birth certificate—if there was such a thing back then—is Yeshua.”

“Yeshua!  What kind of a name is that?”

“Aramaic.  That’s what they spoke in Galilee where I was born.”

“Let me guess—Yeshua is still Jesus, only in Aramaic?”

“Not actually.  Yeshua is Aramaic for Joshua.  My folks were big admirers of Joshua in the Bible.”

“Fought the battle of Jericho?  The walls came tumbling down, just like the World Trade Center?

“I guess you could say that.”

“Well, let’s move on.  Last name?”

"I'm generally called Jesus Christ, but Christ isn't really my last name.  It just means 'The Chosen One.'   Like you might call an athlete a champion, but his name isn't Peyton Champion.  Or--"

"I get it,  Then what is your last name?  Really."

“I grew up in Nazareth, so mostly I was called Jesus of Nazareth.”

“Like Joe of Chicago?  Bernie of New York?  That’s no last name!”

“Other people called me Jesus, son of Joseph.”

“Joseph was your Dad?”

“Sort of .  Of course, other people called me Jesus, the Son of God.”

“So your last name is either Josephson, or Godson?  I get to pick one?”

“I guess so.  You’re the head DMV clerk.”

“Okay, Mr. Joshua Josephson—let’s move on.  Next question:  What is your date of birth?”

“The best guess is sometime near the end of the reign of Herod the Great—“

“NEXT!”

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