If I Wanted Wings I'd Ask For Them

A few years ago (Well, maybe now it's 10 or 20 years ago but you get the idea) some genius, I'm guessing a man, decided it would be a good idea to add flaps, or 'wings', to the sides of feminine hygiene products. They're supposed to wrap around the sides of your underpants to protect them from any overflow.

Now, in theory, that's a good idea.

In reality, not so much.

You see, the nice little wings aren't very obedient. Instead of hugging up against your underpants they like to flap around until they wind up sticking to that extra tender skin along your bikini line. To give any guys reading this an idea what I'm talking about, it's like having a band-aid stuck to your balls.

And every time you have to go to the bathroom you have to rip it off.

So if you see me go into the bathroom muttering, with a pair of scissors in my hands, you'll know what's up.