Shockingly Normal

Today I was minding my own business, checking the springs in a big hopper that feeds them to a machine that puts them in these big wire nuts. Next thing I know, I heard a loud snap & the spring machine tazed me. It's not like it knocked me across the room or anything. I didn't smell burnt flesh & my hair isn't a giant frizzy 'fro now, but I was shocked.

Shocked, I say.

Being the good little future employee I am, or will be, or whatever, I thought I ought to tell the boss that the spring hopper could double as a defibrillator.

He was spectacularly uninterested in my breaking news flash. 'Oh, get used to it. Happens all the time,' is what he said.

Good to know.

I felt better at the end of the day when I heard one of the other employees say he was shocked twice today. It's not so bad in the summer he said, but in the winter when the air was dry he'd get shocked all day long.

Something to look forward to. I'm trying to think of some way to use this to make work more fun. Maybe have a contest to see who can get shocked the most times in one day. Winner gets an all-expenses paid trip to the emergency room. Or maybe print up 'Bingo' cards with different machines instead of numbers. Every time you get a shock you get to cross off that machine. If somebody else gets shocked you don't get to mark off the machine that did it, but they get to mark it off on their 'Bingo' card. I think managers should be like free spots. If they get shocked everybody can mark off whatever machine zapped them. Winner gets a full-body insulated rubber suit, like a wet suit without the flippers.

Hell, might as well include the flippers.

They're extra festive.