Father Knows Best

There's a new little medical clinic in Winfield that my mom decided to try out. She's been having some problems with high blood pressure. Dad told her she should go there & see how much it would be for me to have them look at my ear. I figure if I went to my regular doctor it would be about $250 or $300 just for the visit, then I'd get a prescription for some pills or ear drops for another $75 or $100.

All that for just one ear.

Not unless blood was pouring from the ear.

I mean absolutely gushing.

Turns out the clinic just wanted $50.

Also turns out my ear was just packed up with ear wax, not infected or otherwise gimped out. I swear I cleaned it & cleaned it with that ear wax cleaning solution, but I guess the little rubber suction bulb thingie you're supposed to use to squirt water in your ear just wasn't powerful enough to blast out the wax. The health clinic doesn't have a doctor, just a nurse practitioner, but he got out a water pick like you're supposed to use to clean your teeth if you have braces & jack-hammered the wax out. He said sometimes people come in & their ear wax is dried up like concrete & it's really hard to get out, but he could tell I'd been cleaning my ear out because the wax was all soft & gooey. Real easy to wash out.

As soon as he finished my ear was fine. No ringing, no deafness, no nothing.

Instantaneous.

But let me tell you, when he was squirting that water in my ears it tickled like the dickens. I was squirming & giggling. He probably thought I was on crack or something. It reminded me of how Little Dog used to give wet willies. She'd lick your cheek for a minute & then BAM! A little wet tongue in your ear.

If you were lucky.

Sometimes instead of your ear she'd stealth bomb your nose looking for boogers.

She was a strange, strange little dog.