Boo Hoo Barbeque

We were going to have a big celebratory barbeque last weekend.

I was planning on doing a happy dance over my new permanent, full-time job at King, but unfortunately I’m still a temp. There was only one other person applying for the job, so I had a 50% chance, but they picked the other guy. I’ve been trying to build up a good self-righteous pout about it, but I just can’t. They actually had a decent reason to hire the other guy. It wasn’t just that he’d worked there longer than me, he has maintenance experience. The weekend shift only has about 5 or 6 people and none of them are maintenance workers, so getting an assembly worker that can also work on the machines if something goes wrong was a better choice than getting an assembly worker that couldn’t.

Can’t complain about that. Not unless you’re just a selfish bitch.

We were also going to celebrate Keith getting elected mayor of Foley.

That also didn’t happen.

He wanted to be mayor basically because the current mayor was a dick to us when we got our camper. Gave us a ration of shit about where it was parked. Apparently it was against a city ordinance to park it next to the driveway, so ours needed to move. Nobody else’s campers needed to move, just ours. Keith actually asked the mayor if he was going to make everybody else move their campers, too, & he said no. Just us. I guess it was Pick on the New People Week. We got a copy of the ordinance and it listed a bunch of rules about how long you can park it in front of your house to load it up before you go camping, you can’t do this, you can’t do that, but it never actually said where you can keep your camper parked. From what I remember, you can’t park your camper on your own property at all, except for a day or two to check it in the spring and then a day to load it before you take it out camping. So we went and pointed that out to the powers that be at city hall. They backed down and let us keep our camper right where it was.

And that was the start of the newest Hatfield & McCoy feud in Foley. Keith hates Kenny, the mayor, and Kenny hates Keith. I really don’t have any idea why Kenny was such a douche to us right off the bat like that. He didn’t even know us & acted like he was King Shit for no reason at all.

So instead of a celebration, we had a Boo Hoo Barbeque down at Pecan Grove. Keith cooked up a bunch of pork steaks, brats & chicken, there was soda & beer and whiskey & tequila for later on after the lightweights leave. The dogs were both on high alert, waiting for something to hit the ground. Snoopy tried to steal a brat right off my lap while I was pulling off the skin. I can’t stand the skin on a brat, especially after listening to the podcast about imitation calamari. Intestines are just a couple inches away from anuses. I don’t particularly want to eat either one.