There's this new movie. Maybe you've heard of it. New Moon. Yeah that movie. Of course, you can't come out with a movie without coming out with a bunch of crappy merchandise. They even have Edward Cullen panties. With Edward's picture across the front of them. If having a picture of Edward, the vampire, on your panties isn't creepy enough, the little strip on the inside that's usually a nice innocent piece of white cotton fabric isn't. It's part of the picture on the front. The bottom part. You know, where his mouth is. So all day long you could walk around with this freakish vampire's mouth on your crotch. Pictures on their way.
You have been warned.
And now, a New Moon joke.
What do you get when you cross a mirrored disco ball with a douche bag?
Edward Cullen.
Don't get me wrong, I read all four books and saw the first movie. Like it or not I'm going to see the second movie. I think the story makes a better book than a movie. It's hard for the girl, Bella, not to look like a brainless looser the way she pines over Edward. She should just hook up with Jacob and have a litter of little werewolf puppies. Let Edward go off and be all broody and melancholy-ish.
On the other hand, I liked the story line so much I came up with another story related to Twilight. Featuring Jacob and the werewolves. Who needs vampires?
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