Happy Birthday To Me

Sunday was my birthday. I only wanted one thing, a new printer, and the Man got a me a doozy. It's one of those combination printer, scanner, fax machine, waffle makers. Unfortunately, they quit selling printers that work with Windows 2000. I guess 8 years is pretty old in computer-land. Luckily, we had a copy of Windows XP. We just never felt like putting it on any of our computers. 2000 worked fine, why mess with it if it isn't broken? So we were able to upgrade my laptop, but it was a real pain in the ass. I wanted to save some stuff on a zip drive, but every time I plugged it in the computer put up a warning about dumping the core memory or something equally alarming, so The Man would pull the battery out to shut it off before whatever it was doing could finish. We tried it three times and the last time when we started the computer up again afterwards it opened to some kind of half-assed protected opening.

Luckily, it wasn't really fucked, it was only playing. It took a while for The Man to get XP on here. Somehow the disk we had was missing a file or two, but we were able to patch it up and get it running. The Man's good with computers, even if they make him cuss like a sailor. So now my computer is compatible with the printer, but wouldn't you know, we don't have the cable to connect them. We could make copies, but that's about it. We could also print pictures because there's a slot for camera's to hook right up to it. It still won't print text files. Little prima donna.

The night we got the printer The Man was looking it over in the living room. He had it perched on a foot stool, and it had a distinctive wobble. You had to attach this to that and whatever, so it took a while to get it working. Once, he turned it off and it wouldn't come back on. He was about to run over it with the car, then it just started up like nothing happened. A sprinkling with holy water would have probably done it good.

I'm one of those weird people who name their things like they're pets. My laptop's named Stinky. My car hasn't told me it's name yet, so I just call it Camy since it's a Camry. Anyway, I was trying to find out what the printer's name is when it went into one of it's shaking fits. Then it hit me. It's name is Meemaw.