Still Waiting

Well, my flipper is still busted. I've been to a couple of physical therapy sessions. The first one was nice, they just had me do a little stretching and put my head in a traction machine. Maybe by the time this is over I'll be taller. The next time I went to therapy they hurt me. I started doing actual exercises, not just stretching. I have a long pink piece of rubber that I was supposed to pull back and forth. Oh, God, that hurt. It made my entire arm ache. My middle finger started hurting again, not just my index finger. I had been down to hardly taking any pain medicine and feeling pretty good, but that set me back.

That was Friday, and the physical therapy place was closed on the weekend so I couldn't ask them anything. I didn't know if I was doing it wrong. Maybe I shouldn't pull as hard on the rubber band, or maybe not as often as they said, or maybe I just shouldn't do any of the pulling exercises. I decided to just forget all about the rubber band for the weekend and talk to the therapist when I went back Monday. My hand still hurt on Monday, so they said to lay off the rubber band and just do the stretching exercises.

They also said it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and make an appointment with a back doctor. So we made an appointment with one, but can't go to him until Monday, so we still don't really know anything. Today my arm feels okay. My hand doesn't hurt, it's just my index finger and middle finger are still numb. Oh, and I can't lean on my left arm, or grip anything with my left hand. I always sucked at chin-ups and push-ups anyway, but now there are everyday little things that are difficult. Like opening a bag of potato chips, or holding a can of soda while I pop the top. Yesterday I went to Burger King and had to struggle to rip open a catchup packet.

And speaking of eating, the Busted Flipper Diet is one of the best I've ever been on. I don't know if there's something connecting my stomach and my left arm, but I've had a hard time eating since this whole mysterious malady erupted into my life. Every now and then I suddenly get hot and nauseous, my mouth waters and my stomach heaves. I feel like I'm just about to vomit, then it just fades away. Plus, my appetite is temperamental. I love chocolate, but yesterday I was going to have a Hostess cupcake for breakfast, but I had to force myself to eat it. And I love chocolate. With a passion. Chocolate cupcakes don't usually have any difficulty joining the acid and enzymes in my belly, but this time I could barely eat any of it. A single cupcake, and I threw about 1/4 away. I had to force myself to take each bite. For lunch yesterday I got a Whopper JR. at Burger King, and couldn't even finish that. A Whopper JR. One of my favorite fast food treats, and I just didn't want it. I've lost about 5 pounds since I got hurt, and I wasn't even trying.

But I'm also starting to freak out a little. The other day I started wondering, even if I get better this time, what about next time. The doctor said the space inside my vertebrate is skinnier than usual, so any deviation from straight can start this whole thing over again. But next time, which part of my spine is going to get all twisty? Maybe I'll wake up and not be able to move my legs some day, or maybe the nerves going to my liver will get pinched and suddenly poof, no liver. Or maybe my lungs will feel the pinch. I get the feeling if I ever get osteoporoses I'll be fucked.