Sassafras, Part 74

Rick


I didn’t know why I couldn’t move my arm until I opened my eyes. At first all I could see was a mound of brown hair trailing off onto the pillow, but it was enough to remind me where I was. And who she was. I spent the night at Joan’s again. I even carried her to bed, like somebody in a cheap made-for-TV movie, but it didn’t feel like that last night. It felt natural to lift her up and carry her to bed. After all, that was where I had wanted to be all night. I should have taken her there as soon as Bill left, or maybe when she told me she was staying, or at least when she said Bill wasn’t coming back that night.

We hadn’t stayed in bed the whole time. She looked like she was about to fall asleep in the living room, but by the time I was turning off the light switch she was running her fingers through my hair, and by the time I got to the bedroom door we were already kissing. We made love twice before we finally fell asleep curled up together, just stopping long enough to go to the kitchen and devour what was left of the tacos.

She yawned and stretched, her legs tangling up in the sheet. I slid my free hand around her waist. “Good morning,” I whispered in her ear as I pulled her up against me. “How did you sleep?”

She just yawned again and looked at me for a second before closing her eyes and laying her head back on my arm. “I’ll tell you when I wake up,” she said and wiggled a little closer.

“You think this is a dream?”

“Mm-hmm. A dream. That’s right. This must be a dream. It feels too good to be real.”

“Does this feel real?” I brushed her hair back and kissed her neck, her ear, her shoulder.

“Ooh, you’re all scratchy.”

“I’m sorry.”

She turned to face me, her eyes following her fingertips across my face, tracing the border between skin and whiskers. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it. It’s just scratchy. It tickles.”

“Let me tickle you some more then,” I said and started enjoying this new stretch of neck.

“Oh, definitely a dream. Or maybe a fairy tale. Only instead of Prince Charming or a knight in shining armor I found a king.”

“You still think I’m king material?” I moved back to look into her face.

“Of course. You are my king.” She kissed me, then rubbed her cheek experimentally against mine. I loved the feel of her silky cheek caressing mine, whiskers and all. She must have enjoyed the feeling, too, because I felt a small shiver ripple through her body. “You are my king,” she repeated as she nibbled on my earlobe. “I live only to serve you, my lord. Your pleasure is my only desire.” She smiled and I could almost see her doing a little mental curtsy.

“I like the way you think. You may pleasure me when ready.” I rolled over onto my back, my arms open wide, grinning at her. She laughed and slid on top of me. I just closed my eyes and let the sound of her laughter soak into me like a thunderstorm in the desert, my arms curling around her waist. I was in heaven, and it seemed to keep getting better and better. This was going to be the best day of my life. Boy was I wrong. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Her hands roaming across my body felt like old familiar friends, and when I touched her it was like touching a part of myself. That was how I was starting to feel about her, about us. There was a connection between us, like a rubber band. I could feel it stretch when we were apart, an almost painful pull toward wherever she was that I wasn’t. I was comfortable when we were together, but when we were apart, it felt like a big part of me was missing.

“Good lord, woman. What did you do to me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just lying here, minding my own business, when you attacked me like a wild animal.”

“A wild animal? I thought I was your king.”

“Yeah, king of the jungle maybe.”

I laughed and kissed her. She looked so beautiful, still flushed and out of breath, her hair tangled and wild. I just lay there admiring her, my hand stroking down her arm, across her belly. Her belly. That was when I realized I hadn’t used protection. Again. That was getting to be a bad habit. It was almost as if I wanted to get her pregnant. Or like I was 16 again. “God damn it. We might as well just give up and start picking baby names right now.”

“What? Oh, not again. We’re not exactly batting a thousand, are we?” She reached over to the nightstand and picked up her cigarettes. I hated her smoking, but tried not to let it bother me. I knew better than to try to convince her to stop smoking. All that would do was push her away. Of course, that would change if we found out she was pregnant. She would have to stop then. She lit a cigarette and lay back down next to me. “Well, I was always partial to Rebecca.”

“Rebecca, huh? You know, last night you never did say what you would do.” I let my hand glide back over her stomach. “You know, if there’s a little Rebecca in there?”

“Were you serious last night? What you said?” she countered.

“If we found out you were pregnant? A little Becky?”

“Or maybe a Travis. I like Travis, too.”

“Hmm, Travis Gilbert. I like it. Yes, I was serious. Sometimes, I miss my kids so much I can’t stand it. Having another chance would really mean a lot to me. Being able to do everything over, but do it right this time. I would love it. If you let me.”

She put her hand over mine, weaving our fingers together. “I would let you. I always wanted a family. A fancy wedding, a big house full of kids. There’s an empty house near here that me and Jenny used to hang out in when we skipped school. I used to pretend it was my house. I even had a pretend dog. A German shepherd named Max. And Travis and Rebecca, of course. And the twins, Pixie and Dixie. Sometimes you were an astronaut, sometimes you were a movie star. I had a good imagination. I thought growing up was going to be a big adventure. Everything was going to be happily ever after. I gave up waiting for happily ever after a long time ago. That was just something from a fairy tale.”

“What about now?”

“I told you.” She turned toward me, brushed hair back off my forehead, trailed her hand down the side of my face. “This is a fairy tale. I think that requires a happily ever after, doesn’t it?”

“Your wish is my command, my queen.” I took her hand and kissed her palm, then held it over my heart. “I swear Joan, whatever you want, whatever you need. I’ll give you happily ever after or die trying.”

“Right now, all I want is breakfast. We’ll worry about ever after later.”

“Breakfast it is.” And breakfast it was. I would have fixed her breakfast in bed, but she jumped in the shower and then joined me in the kitchen while I cooked.

“Pancakes!” She peeked around my shoulder. “I love pancakes!”

She did, too, covering each pancake with butter and syrup before digging in. “How long until you have to leave?” she asked between bites.

I looked at my watch and did a little calculating in my head. I had to be at the parole office at 11, it took about an hour to get there, but I needed to leave early enough to go home and check for a message from Boyd, get on the computer if I had to. Plus, I had to shave and change. “I should leave in about a half an hour, give or take.”

“Just a half an hour? That’s no fair. When will you get back?”

“I should be back around 1.”

“That’s all day!”

“No, it’s not that bad. I’ll be back before you know it.”

She snorted her opinion and then swirled another piece of pancake in the pool of syrup on her plate. “I hope so. I wish you didn’t have to go at all. The road looks bad.”

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”