Sassafras, Part 45

Rick


The Monte Vista is L shaped, with the stairs and the old pool in the crook of the L. I lived in 36C, on the second floor of the short side, with a magnificent view from the walkway in front of my apartment of the weeds and trash in the pool area, and Tony and all the other people who lived on the long side. When I unlocked the door I noticed Joan smiling. Maybe the Monte Vista was growing on her. Or maybe I was. “Home, sweet home,” I said. “Why don’t you sit down while I look for my toolbox?” I asked and escorted her all four steps to the couch before heading to the closet. Everything was crammed into that closet, so it took a few minutes to dig out my tool box. I forgot to check the flashlight in my car so I was going to grab the one from under the couch just in case.

I finally found my toolbox and managed to get it out of the closet without too much trouble. Joan looked bored, sitting there all alone, twisting the hem of her skirt between her fingers. When she saw me carrying the toolbox she stood up and started following me to the door. “You’re not in that much of a hurry to leave, are you?” I asked and set the toolbox down on the floor next to the door.

“I thought you were.”

“Business before pleasure,” I said as I slipped my arm around her and started walking toward the couch. “I didn’t want to forget anything. You have a tendency to distract me.” I knew there was probably something else I wanted to get while I was home, but I was right, she distracted me. I sat down and she made herself right at home in my arms. I wasn’t distracted anymore. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. It had been a struggle to think about anything else all day. I started kissing her and unbuttoning her jacket. She took it off, revealing the simple white dress it had been covering. I slipped a strap off her shoulders and started moving my mouth farther down her neck when I felt her try to push me away.

“Don’t you like this?” I whispered in her ear.

“Oh, God, yes,” she said. “I like this. I love this.” I loved hearing her say that. I started kissing her again but she pulled away from me. “No, Rick, please.”

“What’s wrong?” She didn’t look happy anymore. She looked worried.

“It’s just, there’s something you ought to know. I’m not on the pill. I’m sorry, Rick. I should have told you last night, but everything happened so fast. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. Really,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll use protection.”

“But last night…”

“Was a wonderful surprise. I didn’t expect you to drag me to your bedroom and take advantage of me like that.”

“Drag you! Take advantage of you!”

“I was kidding, just kidding. I wouldn’t change a thing about last night. I should have used a condom, but I didn’t know I was going to need one.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No, I’m not mad at you. Even if you told me last night, I wouldn’t change a thing. How about you? Do you regret last night?”

“No. I’m sorry I slapped you, but I wouldn’t change anything else.”

I kissed her again, and this time she let me enjoy it. Instead of trying to pull away she pulled me closer to her, kissing me with the same desire I felt. It was all I could do to wait long enough to put on a condom before it was too late. I couldn’t think of anything except how amazing she had been last night. She had been so eager for each touch, each kiss, and responded with so much passion I could barely keep up with her. Everything seemed to be a surprise to her, every experience felt new and exciting. She was even more amazing this time. She seemed to read my mind, anticipating what I wanted before I even knew it myself.

Afterwards we both stretched out on the couch as well as we could, her head resting on my arm. I didn’t want to get up. I just wanted to lie there and never have to leave. She was running her hand across my shoulder when I saw her start to nibble on her lip and knew something was on her mind. After a few minutes she looked up at me and brushed her hand across my chin. She wasn’t smiling anymore. She looked serious, almost sad, but she still didn’t say anything. “What are you thinking about?” I asked her.

She looked down and sighed. “Leaving,” she said. “Wondering how much longer until I have to go back to New York. How many more times I’ll see you.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know.” She was staring down at her hand resting on my chest. “Not long. Wednesday or Thursday probably. Maybe I can stretch it out until next weekend. I don’t like thinking about it.”

“How many times do you want to see me?”

She put her arm around me. “Every day,” she said. “Every morning, every night. Every chance I get.”

Amen, I thought and pulled her closer to me, brushing her hair out of her face. I wanted the exact same thing. I ran my hand down her back and felt her curl up against me. It felt so good I could have stayed that way forever, even as cramped as I was on the couch, but I knew we ought to get moving if I was going to work on Jenny’s car. “We ought to get up before we both fall asleep.”

“No, not yet. Please, let me stay just another couple minutes.”

I sighed and kissed her forehead. “Okay, but just a little while.” It did feel nice. She was so warm and soft. I thought about what she said a minute ago. She could be gone by Wednesday. I might never see her again after that. How could I have gotten so attached to her in just three days? I was usually bored with a woman after three days. At least that was the way it used to work before I spent seven years in prison. I didn’t feel like the same person I used to be. I never used to think any farther than the next bar, the next woman, the next weekend. I never worried about the future. I didn’t have to. It’s amazing how easy life can be with enough money, and I always made sure I had more than enough. Now I didn’t have any money, nothing was easy, and Joan was leaving. Life sucks, and then you die.

I brushed my hand through her hair, and then caressed her cheek. “Come on. We need to get going,” I whispered.

“Mmmm. Love you,” she said.

Did she just say what I thought I heard? “What did you say, Joan? Joan?” I touched her cheek again, but she just brushed my hand away. “Joan?” I picked up her hand and could tell she was fast asleep. “Love you, too,” I whispered and kissed her forehead. She was just dreaming. She didn’t really say she loved me. I wondered who she was dreaming about. Maybe it was me, but maybe it was that damn senator. It could even be Colonel Hogan for all I knew.

Maybe I was dreaming, too. I used to enjoy my normal, boring life before I met her. Plotting Sneider’s destruction so I could get off probation had been enough to keep me happy. Until I met her. I still remembered the first time I saw her. Sneider and Franklin and I had been talking about who was going to ‘work security’ that weekend. That was one of the ways I was funneling their money into legitimate income. Every weekend I put one or two of the officer’s down in the books as working security at Tanner’s. Tanner’s didn’t need bouncers, but if anyone ever audited the books they wouldn’t know that, especially with all the extra business I made it look like Tanner’s had. I also made it look like they picked up shifts at the cab company. I just had to make sure I didn’t put somebody on both books at the same time, or when they were actually on duty.

I heard her high heels snapping against the tile floor before I even turned around and saw her. I hadn’t heard that sound in years, but I still recognized it. High heels. A woman was coming. All three of us turned and stared. I couldn’t look away from her. I couldn’t have moved even if the building had been on fire. Nothing had been the same since. Even now, when she was just lying next to me sleeping, I couldn’t stop staring at her. I wanted to touch her, kiss her, feel her fingers running through my chest hairs. I wanted to make love to her again, to see that look on her face, like she was either going to faint or laugh or scream. Instead I just held her and let her dream.