GRANNY, GET YOUR GUN!

Granny is a step closer to saving her songbirds from Kitty. Wisconsin held its local Conservation Commission hearings this week, and the people attending voted to allow any licensed hunter to shoot stray cats.

Before Granny breaks out her AK-47 and and starts blasting Sylvester, though, a couple of things have to happen. First, the state Conservation Commission has to approve the proposal, and then the state legislature has to enact it into law. Can you imagine the catlovers descending en masse on the state capital? I'm sure they outnumber bird lovers at least 10 to 1.

Besides, it's just a cockamamie idea anyway. Most of the cat-versus-bird carnage that gets seen by bird lovers happens in town. Do you think having a hunting license is going to allow you to start shooting cats right and left? Every city, town, or little dump I ever lived in had an ordinance against discharging firearms in its limits. "But officer! He had a bird in his mouth!" aint gonna cut it.

As for feral cats in the country, people out there already shoot them on sight anyway and nobody says anything. They don't need a law. And guess what--they shoot stray dogs, too. It's part of the rural way of life, otherwise they would be overrun with pets that city people dump there.

And I still don't think it's the cats that are to blame for "our disappearing songbirds." It's the deer destroying the forest undergrowth, or maybe it's the farmers plowing up pastures and spraying their pesticides. Now there's an idea--issue licenses for hunters to shoot farmers. Nope, bad idea. They're already an endangered species. All the farmers I ever knew are extinct--either gone to town or gone to Jesus.

Take heart, little birdies! The Daily Cud is on your side.