Daily Cud

2011-04-02T22:39:00.002-05:00

Now Don't I Feel SillyI was pissed at the library. They were teasing me with a book I really wanted. Skipping Towards Gomorrah by Dan Savage. I got home from running around the city with Mom and The Kid, checked my e-mail and found one from the library saying the book was waiting for me. I was kind of miffed because I went to the library while we were in town, but I didn't have that book. No

2010-10-09T22:29:00.002-05:00

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!Look, look, I'm posting. I'd like to have a good reason for not blogging in so long. Coma, abducted by a pirate who looks just like Johnny Depp, something. But no. I did have computer problems, but I could have still blogged at work, and I could have still blogged at home. I just had to find a 1, q, a, or z to clip and paste every time I needed to type one. Plus if I need a

2010-08-10T23:35:00.002-05:00

Have A Crappy DayYou wouldn't think it's possible to say 'Thank You' too often, but you'd be surprised. When you have to say thank you before you say anything, every time you say anything, you start to sound like an idiot. (No offense to idiots.) They finally decided to tone down the thank you machine a little at work. Unfortunately, they didn't really improve things as far as I can see. We used

2010-07-25T10:25:00.002-05:00

At LastI can die happy. I finally had a call at work from someone who wanted a number in Winfield. I almost peed my pants I was so excited. They wanted the number for IGA. I wanted to ask him if he knew The Man. It seems like half the town does. I finally decided to just give him the number and send him on his way.But still. Woo-hoo!!

2010-07-07T21:53:00.002-05:00

Glory HallelujahThey finally came to their senses at work. Finally. Now I don't have to tell everybody what street the phone number is listed on. If you want the street, you have to ask for it. Thank you, God. I put a little PostIt note on my monitor to remind me to stop saying it. Once you get in the habit of saying something it's hard to stop. Like cussing. It just fucking slips out.

2010-07-03T23:42:00.003-05:00

JR Rides AgainIt seems like the Cud household is on a flexible time system. We spend all our time watching old TV shows. Hogan's Hero's, Good Times, Mission Impossible. Right now we're having Daily Doses of Dallas. The Girl wasn't impressed with Dallas at first. "It's just a soap opera," she said.JUST A SOAP OPERA!But she did agree that JR's an evil, evil man. Now that we're into season 2 (of 8)

2010-06-26T17:49:00.002-05:00

Please Tell Me Somebody DiedOn the way home from work yesterday I noticed the flags in front of city hall in O'fallon were all at half mast. Right at the same time the people on the radio were talking about it being the anniversary of Micheal Jackson's tragic death. I sincerely hope that wasn't why they lowered the flags. I mean really. The Jackson 5 were okay, and Micheal Jackson had a couple of

2010-06-24T01:26:00.002-05:00

Rare Dog Goat Hybrid Spotted In WinfieldI'm not sure Leeloo is really a dog. Or all dog. She has to have some goat or pig in there, too. I swear, while most dogs enjoy wandering around, sniffing and peeing, she would rather graze on grass clippings. Today The Girl dolled her up with a bandanna and yes, Leeloo tried to eat it. She actually nibbled out three or four pieces.

2010-06-21T21:53:00.004-05:00

Bye Bye, BunnyOn the way home from work the other day I helped a rabbit commit suicide by car. I was tooling down the highway when I saw a rabbit on the shoulder on the other side of the road. It hopped onto the highway, but there were some cars coming it's way. I remember thinking it had better hurry up and hop back off the highway before those other cars flattened it. That was when it decided

2010-06-17T11:04:00.002-05:00

Yes, I Am A Card Carrying TardThe other day I started feeling hot at work. That wasn't anything new. Every now and then I get these hot spells. The Man thinks it has something to do with me getting older. I like to think it's just because there's some kind of problem with the air-conditioner at work, but since I get them at home, too, maybe he has something there.Anyway, putting my hair up really

2010-06-09T10:12:00.002-05:00

A Beautiful SightI went to the library yesterday. They were packed. I had to park on the far side of the parking lot in one of the few empty spots. After I picked out my books I had to Stand In Line to check out. They even opened up a second checkout line to speed things up. I had to talk to the lady in the drop-off area because I had two broken books. I always forget I want to go to the library

2010-06-07T21:03:00.001-05:00

Two For TwoI got home from work today and The Girl told me she took Leeloo out four times and she wouldn't poop. I took her out and BAM! Poop on parade. I took Snoopy out, and once again, poop city. It's nice to have a talent, but I wish mine was just something else. Maybe not pole dancing, but other than that just about anything else.

2010-06-06T15:39:00.002-05:00

Brown ThumbI never thought a dog pooping would be something I looked forward to. Leeloo pacing, sniffing furiously, searching for the absolute perfect spot to drop a load, is a lovely sight. She's not as big as we thought she would be, only about as tall as Buddy was but a lot skinnier. She still seems like she's all legs, but not as clumsy. Still has a lot of tard in her. Snoopy loves wrestling

2010-05-26T22:12:00.002-05:00

Shit For BrainsI know I haven't written in here in a little while. Okay, a long while. I just didn't have anything I felt like the universe really needed to know. I mean, sure, I was tempted to blog about the 'Free Coon' sign somebody put up on the shoulder next to a lump of road kill that I'm assuming was a raccoon. I could have done up a real nice couple of paragraphs, maybe added my recipe for

2009-12-25T13:25:00.002-06:00

Puppy BreathYeah, you guessed it. We have a new addition to the family. When I came home last night there she was. She's 8 weeks old, but she's already a little taller than Snoopy, our dachshund. Her name is Leeloo, after the woman on the 5th element. She's part border collie, part Doberman, and part pit bull. She's black and tan like a Doberman, and has long skinny legs like a Doberman, but she

2009-12-24T22:28:00.003-06:00

A Little Christmas CheerThe house across the street from me has some evil Christmas decoration in the window. It looks like a snowman. It's either roasting in Hell or it's on fire. At least that's what it looks like to me. Maybe there's two decorations that are blurring into one from across the road, or it's shorting out and going to burn their house down while they sleep, or like I said, it's

2009-12-20T15:23:00.004-06:00

HarrisburgIn the beginning of this blog, I used to write fiction, too. Not just boring day by day shit. So in order to write more I decided to start a daily (Okay, that's probably wishful thinking) spur of the moment writing session. Maybe a scene, or a character will pop up to say hi. Who knows. In order to make it random, so I can just jump right in without really thinking, I'm going to start

2009-12-11T10:35:00.001-06:00

Babysitting TipLast night I had a dream I was babysitting a bunch of kids. I warned them if they didn't behave I was going to make Toe Soup.Using their toes.They behaved.

2009-11-24T23:44:00.005-06:00

Super Creepy SquaredThere's this new movie. Maybe you've heard of it. New Moon. Yeah that movie. Of course, you can't come out with a movie without coming out with a bunch of crappy merchandise. They even have Edward Cullen panties. With Edward's picture across the front of them. If having a picture of Edward, the vampire, on your panties isn't creepy enough, the little strip on the inside that's

2009-11-18T13:22:00.003-06:00

Piss Poor PlanningThey remodeled the women's bathrooms at work. They look really nice. That's where the compliments end.My first complaint is everything's set up on motion sensors. Even the toilet. For some reason a toilet that can flush itself freaks me out. I think it's because one time I was on a toilet that I didn't know did that and leaned over to tie my shoes. I would say I almost peed my

2009-09-29T23:38:00.002-05:00

Safe Or Squashed?Remember that earthquake in California 10 or 15 years ago? There was some kind of double-decker highway that collapsed, trapping people in cars crushed down to the size of paint cans. There's one spot on my drive to work where a stop light leaves me stuck under the highway. I can't decide which I would prefer, to be squashed by the supports, or be trapped in the little space

2009-09-07T23:15:00.002-05:00

CharmedI know, you think this is going to be a post all about witches and sisterhood and the mythical power of three.No, it's not.It's about The Man! Yeah, Man.I don't remember if I wrote about his latest trip into sales. Before I met him he used to be a salesman. He was good at it, too. He can bullshit people into buying anything. A couple of months ago he decided just being a storm spotter

2009-08-24T23:06:00.002-05:00

Cash For Perfectly Good CarsThis is turning into a real political rant-fest around here. Now you get to read all about my feelings on the Cash for Clunkers program.I think it's horrible killing all those perfectly good cars. There was nothing wrong with most of them. The people who could afford to go out and buy a new car, even with the rebate, weren't driving piece of shit cars. And how much

2009-08-17T23:06:00.007-05:00

The Sky Is FallingEvery time I see those people screaming and carrying on at town hall meetings it reminds me of the children's story about the little chicken running around yelling that the sky is falling, the sky is falling. They're so worked up I don't know whether to feel sorry for them or be amused by them.I understand that they are doing this because they truly believe what they're saying.

2009-08-13T22:46:00.002-05:00

I Know Who's To BlameEverybody agrees the economy's in the shitter. Everybody has their own idea who's fault it is. The bankers, the lawyers, the insurance companies. They're all wrong.It was the damn hippies.Yes, the hippies. From the 70's. You know who you are. Or were. You let us all down. You spoke big, but it was all words. What happened to caring for the earth? Living in harmony with your

2009-08-04T21:40:00.003-05:00

I Heart T-MobilWe're starting something new at work this week. We used to handle calls from all kinds of phone companies. T-Mobil and Verizon were the main ones. T-Mobil was cool and laid back. Verizon was picky as shit. T-Mobil was just happy that we give out right numbers and speak English. Verizon wanted us to say all kinds of stuff that nobody cares about. When was the last time you had a

2009-07-27T22:09:00.002-05:00

Whole Lotta TardUsually I'm pretty politically correct. On the other hand when I see someone or something (I'm looking at you, Snoopy) doing something stupid I say he's got a whole lotta tard in him. The other day I had some tard in me. I set my alarm for 9am. At least I thought I set it for 9. And no, I didn't set it for 9 pm. Turns out I set it for 8. I didn't notice what time it was, so when

2009-07-15T23:00:00.002-05:00

An Open Letter To Sarah PalinDear Sarah,Please don't move to Missouri.Thanks a bunch,RuthI might have mentioned this once or twice, but just so you know, I don't like Sarah Palin. She just irritates the bejeezus out of me. So you might be surprised that I don't really give a shit about her being a big quitting baby. I don't care why she quit, what interests me is how she quit. If she was tired of

2009-06-12T22:14:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the 21st CenturyI know, I know. Where have I been? I'm lazy, okay. I promise I'll be better. I'm really going to write in here more. I promise. Really. Well, probably.Anyway, at work they updated our database. Apparently there are these things called zip codes. Now I can narrow down which McDonald's you want by what zip code you're in. There are rumors going around that say we're going

2009-04-12T20:09:00.006-05:00

Die, Molar Scum, DieI've been having problems with my teeth. One tooth, to be exact, and it's not even a whole tooth. I already had to have it sawed down and covered with a crown. It was one of the bottom molars that got crushed by the evil upper teeth. About a month ago, this tooth decided fuck you I'm out of here and started sending shooting pain down my jaw, through my throat and into my left

2009-02-27T22:51:00.004-06:00

Do You Understand The Words That Are Coming Out Of My Mouth?I swear, sometimes I wonder if I'm speaking English or not at work. I mean, I try to ask simple questions. Do you want the McDonald's on Fifth or Elm? Could you spell that? You would be surprised at how often I hear "What?" after I ask "How can I help you?" It's a simple question. What the hell do you want? Tell me and I'll get it for

2009-02-11T22:37:00.002-06:00

Thank You And GoodbyeNo, I'm not shutting down the Cud. I got in a bad mood at work yesterday. So bad I started just hanging up on people that pissed me off. Like saying one city at first then changing their story later. Like I can't tell the difference between San Diego and West Covina. They don't sound anything alike. People who mumbled or expected me to know how to spell their doctor's name.

2009-02-06T23:45:00.004-06:00

My PreciousThe other day The Man was rooting around in the basement, looking for who knows what, when he hit the jackpot. He found one of those Crown Royal bags with a bunch of my jewelry in it. Jewelry that had been lost for years. Like my wedding ring. I gained some weight a while ago and it didn't fit anymore, so I put it up somewhere safe so it wouldn't get lost. Of course, then I forgot

2009-01-28T00:46:00.003-06:00

Bring On The MonkeysSo I was reading this thing in the New York Times. Sounds deep and intellectual and everything, doesn't it? It was all about sex. Right there in the New York Times on-line. It was like that song the Streak. Don't look, Ethel.Too late.Anyway, it was pretty interesting. This sex researcher, Meredith Chivers, watched subjects watch porn. A lot of porn. Some was straight sex, some

2009-01-24T00:05:00.002-06:00

Two Strikes And Your OutIn case I never mentioned it before, The Man has a bad back. A very bad back. Finally, he'd had enough. He was willing to consider surgery. So he went to see a surgeon. I didn't get to go to the initial office visit, but I got to go to the hospital to get the scans done. Not exactly fun times.Then the doctor said forget about it. Surgery wouldn't do any good. So he went to

2008-12-07T20:31:00.002-06:00

Lazy Ass SantaThe Man put up the Christmas lawn decorations. We have a set of those white metal wire reindeer, a spirally Christmas tree, and a big plastic Santa. The wind keeps knocking Santa over, so it always looks like he's passed out. Just so you know.

2008-11-09T13:05:00.002-06:00

Oh, My GodThe movie just got even stupider. Apparently, Yetis are able to practically levitate. It jumps like one of the astronauts on the moon. Plus, the survivors were fighting back, against this giant, man-eating monster, by throwing snowballs at it.Yeah, like that's going to work.

2008-11-09T12:32:00.004-06:00

From The Now I've Seen Everything FileI'm sitting here on the couch, enjoying my VACATION and watching a stunningly stupid movie. Yeti. About a bunch of high school or college athletes that crash in the Himalayas. And the Abominable Snowman eats them! Oh My God!!! Two of them went to look for the black box because the plane broke into pieces. They find it, but then one of them gets, you guessed

2008-11-04T11:54:00.002-06:00

In And Out In 20 MinutesWell, I made it to the polls. There was a line, but not bad. There was a little confusion. They actually had four lines. One for people in town, and then one for people a-g or whatever, one for h-o (again, or whatever) and one for the rest. Once people figured out we were supposed to be starting out in separate lines instead of one master line and then go to the right lady

2008-10-01T23:39:00.002-05:00

Completely UnscientificI've been conducting a thorough study of woolly-bear caterpillars. Most of them have been really dark. That means we're going to have a long, cold winter. Supposedly. Of course, I'm only able to study the ones trying to cross the highway on my way to work. A very limited sample. I hope we have a nice warm winter because The Man's back is too bad to handle the wood stove

2008-09-30T23:21:00.002-05:00

In Defense Of BanksFor the first time in history someone is hated more than lawyers. Bankers. I know, I know. This entire nightmare is all due to greedy bankers.Bullshit.Sure, bankers twisted things around so they could make unbelievable amounts of money. I remember seeing commercials for loans for 125% the value of your house. I don't see how that could have been legal, but they did it. What

2008-09-27T08:48:00.002-05:00

Improved PlanI've pretty much accepted the fact that my idea is never going to see the light of day. That doesn't mean I quit thinking about it. As a matter of fact, I've improved it again. I still think just giving banks so much money will piss off the average working man something fierce. I think my basic emergency assistance idea is a good idea. Make people sit down with the bank and the

2008-09-24T16:35:00.002-05:00

Project CudI know I’m not the only one worried about the economy. Fortunately, I have a plan. Instead of a Wall Street bailout what we need is a Main Street buyout. After the Great Flood of 93 the government bought my house and helped me move out of the flood plain. If they could do that, why can't they do the same thing for people who are struggling with gas prices

2008-07-04T22:59:00.002-05:00

Happy 4th Of JulyThere was a nice celebration here at Casa de Cud. We didn't buy any fireworks, but there's somebody in back of us that went completely apeshit. Last year they spent $5000, and I think this year they spent more. They had huge explosions, clustered together in continuous bursts. There must have been three or four people setting them off at the same time. It was real pretty, and

2008-07-02T22:46:00.002-05:00

Apparently, 11You would not believe how many police work here in Winfield. Our neighbor told us there are 11 full time, regular officers. I'm not sure where he learned this little tidbit, but he seemed pretty sure about it. We couldn't believe it. I mean, there's only about 750 people in Winfield. How many police do we need? Apparently, we need 3 men on duty 24-7. And this isn't just because of

2008-06-28T22:36:00.002-05:00

Officially InconveniencedWell, I'm finally affected by the flood. Not because I'm flooded, but because Highway 79 is flooded. Now I have to take 40-61. I usually switch back and forth between the two highways, but lately I hadn't been taking 79 that much anyway. It's basically a lake east of 79 all the way to O'fallon. Nice to look at, but everybody wants to drive about 45 miles an hour, looking

2008-06-19T22:06:00.002-05:00

My Garden PartyI decided since the garden was basically planted, I should celebrate with a little wienie roast. I built a nice little fire and we had some neighbors come over. By the time most of them wandered over it was too dark to really see the garden, but that was okay. Today I planted the last of the sweet corn, and I still have some beans and peas I want to plant in with the corn, but I

2008-06-10T17:43:00.002-05:00

Growing Right AlongYou ought to see my garden. There are actually plants growing in it now, besides the tomatoes and peppers. The seeds are up, too. Beans and peas and corn everything. Of course, besides the tomatoes there's nothing taller than three or four inches. The only things not growing right are the peppers, who are a bunch of stunted little bonsais. Next year we're starting our seeds a

2008-05-31T11:09:00.003-05:00

Now, We WaitRemember those sprouts? Guess where they are. IN THE GARDEN!!Yes, I have a garden. A real garden, with plants and worms and ants. Most people like worms, but I love ants in the garden. Sure, you have to respect them, but they really fluff up the soil. A couple of times I cut a hole in the black plastic covering a bed to plant something and came up with a pile of ants. All you have to

2008-04-19T12:39:00.002-05:00

Sprouts, I Have ThemLast year I had a small garden. Just a couple of peppers, 8 or 9 tomatoes, some basil, and a cantaloupe. This year, the Cud household is going crazy. Last year, I had a couple of seed packs of peppers and flowers I didn't even use. This year, I bought enough seeds to need 3 coffee cans to hold them all. One is all flowers, one is viney plants: watermelon, peas, beans, pumpkins

2008-03-24T20:18:00.002-05:00

White EasterI supposed everybody's seen the flooding around St. Louis on TV. Luckily, there isn't any flooding here at Casa de Cud. I did have a shock to my system when I looked out the window at work yesterday and saw it snowing its ass off. It snowed, then stopped, then snowed, then stopped. At one time it did something I don't know if there's a name for. It was like a cross between hail and

2008-03-14T23:02:00.002-05:00

New ChoppersI finally made it to the dentist Wednesday and got two of my teeth worked on. I was going to get one crown, but The Man thought since we had the money to do both teeth now we might as well go ahead and bite the bullet. So now I've got two temporary crowns. It wasn't that bad. Not as bad as when I had to get a root canal. Not that I would recommend going out and getting your teeth

2008-03-03T20:04:00.003-06:00

PissedWhen The Man got his big guvmint check we decided each of us should get something special to make up for not getting anything while we were broke on our ass. I picked a printer, and The Girl decided she wanted a Wii. We've had it a couple of weeks now and it's not too bad. I'm not a big video game person, but it's something to do besides turn into a zombie watching TV. The Man decided he

2008-03-01T23:44:00.002-06:00

Must Have CootiesOur clocks are still messed up at work. Now there's something else messed up. There's a note up saying not to use the ice from the ice machine. That's too bad, but the way they worded the notice was strange. It said the ice "was not as it should be" whatever that is supposed to mean. You mean it's not frozen? What? I finally asked someone at the desk and she said the ice was

2008-02-28T21:45:00.002-06:00

A Time Zone Of Our OwnAt work there are digital clocks all over that I have to use to know when to log on and go on breaks and so forth. The clocks on all the computers are all different, some slow, some fast. Anyway, the clocks are all on strike. They just go over and over the same hour, hour after hour, day after day. Most of them go over six o'clock over and over, but I noticed one had to be

2008-02-26T17:53:00.002-06:00

Big Tooth UpdateI finally saw the dentist today. It was just a quick look around, no drilling or yanking or anything. I'm going to make an appointment to have a crown put on the offending tooth. I would have made an appointment today but I only know my schedule for next week and the next openings are the week after that. Thursday I'll get that week's schedule and then I'll know when the lucky

2008-02-14T22:02:00.005-06:00

And On The Eight Day God Went BowlingI worked on my birthday, but I was off Tuesday and Wednesday. I thought about going to a movie, but The Man can't sit through a whole movie. He's got to move around and stand up every now and then. The Girl suggested we go bowling, which was seconded and passed unanimously. The Man can't bowl any more than he can watch a movie, but at least he could move

2008-02-12T16:39:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday To MeSunday was my birthday. I only wanted one thing, a new printer, and the Man got a me a doozy. It's one of those combination printer, scanner, fax machine, waffle makers. Unfortunately, they quit selling printers that work with Windows 2000. I guess 8 years is pretty old in computer-land. Luckily, we had a copy of Windows XP. We just never felt like putting it on any of our

2008-02-05T17:46:00.001-06:00

Just Don't CareSo, Super Tuesday. Yawn. Everybody here at Casa Cud voted today. Well, sort of. We voted Libertarian. Last night we were talking about who we were voting for and I explained my voting strategy. This is just a primary. We're not really voting for president. We're just voting for who we want to vote for president for. Or whatever. You know what I mean. So, I know some people use this

2008-01-28T22:36:00.000-06:00

Happy NewsI don't want this blog to turn into a poor, poor me whine-fest, so I've been on the lookout for good news. There are a bunch of tulips and daffodils coming up already. They're just little green stubs so far, but they look nice poking up out of the ground. I got a bunch of seed catalogs I've been drooling over. I'm going to order some seeds and have a real garden this year. Something

2008-01-22T23:29:00.000-06:00

Good News, Bad NewsWell, we're broke, but the end is in sight. The Man talked to someone from Social Security who said they finally decided he qualifies to get disability. So now we (hopefully) only have to wait until Monday. When he goes in to see somebody and probably fill out more paperwork and sign his name in blood or whatever they're going to make him do before they actually give him any

2008-01-20T16:42:00.000-06:00

And One More ThingI got so carried away writing the other day I forgot about something I wanted to mention. So now I'm blogging three times in one month. I don't know how much longer this streak will last. Maybe something exciting will happen tomorrow and I'll blog again. It could happen.Anyway, I blogged about the first tooth I lost, and the second tooth. Don't get too worried, I haven't lost

2008-01-19T20:06:00.000-06:00

Yes, I SuckI know, I know. I haven't been writing in here any more often this year than last year. I suck. It's not a real news flash. So I'm going to make up for it by writing one enormous post. First, I want to write about how cold it is.All together now. How cold is it?It was so cold today my hair froze. Swear to God. I don't usually dry my hair. Just lazy. Anyway, today I took a shower and

2008-01-01T23:22:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!One of my resolutions this year is to actually write in here. Why have a blog if I never post? I mean really. Why bother? So I decided to try something new and actually blog for a change. I don't have anything particular to write about, but I only have a half an hour until I already break my resolution, so prepare yourself for a lot of aimless rambling.My other resolution is also 1

2007-11-20T22:16:00.000-06:00

Next Drink Race 2000 Coming SoonLast night we watched a movie that I think would make a good sequel to the Drink Race 2000 party. Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter. It's the weirdest vampire movie because the vampires run around in the daylight. I don't think they could afford to film at night. We were trying to come up with rules if we wanted to turn it into a drinking game. I thought about drinking

2007-11-13T22:43:00.000-06:00

Almost Half-timeI've been typing my fingers to the bones. I'm right at 21,000 now. I'm afraid I might run out of story before I hit 50,000, but I guess I can always add padding. Describe the clouds or what she has for breakfast or something. I can't just add a couple sex scenes since my main character is only 15. Now, back to typing.

2007-11-09T21:46:00.000-06:00

Higher And HigherI'm sure my loyal readers are asking themselves how I'm doing on NaNo. Well, worry no more. I am right at 15,000 words. I'm very pleased with myself. I just got to the big kiss when everybody finds out Laura's brother is gay. I don't think I ever mentioned in here that I'm setting the story in Sassafras. She's going to have a big crush on Bill, and her brother's boyfriend is

2007-11-07T21:56:00.000-06:00

If I WonEvery now and then I entertain myself by imagining what I would do if I won a big lottery jackpot. So not going to happen because I only play about once a year. Usually, I try to be realistic. I mean, it's a fantasy, but there are limits. I've finally decided on my ultimate fantasy. I want to grow a tree park. I'm sure there's some fancy Latin term for what I'm talking about, but I don't

2007-11-06T17:51:00.000-06:00

Two Steps Forward, One Step BackI've been hard at work, writing my NaNo novel. I got all the way up to 8,100 words, then decided to chop a bunch at the end and change things around. I was back down to 6,300 words, but now I'm back to 7,400 words. Considering I was hoping to write at least 2,000 words a day and it's the 6th already, I'm way behind. I am going to have to plant my ass on the couch

2007-11-04T20:22:00.000-06:00

TulipsToday was a beautiful day. A perfect vacation day. I took advantage of the weather and planted some tulips and daffodils. I wanted to do a whole elaborate overhaul. Dig this up, plant it there, cover that with something. It would have taken all day, and I didn't remember about wanting to work in the flower bed until Mary came by around 3 and said what a nice day it was, so we went for Plan

2007-11-02T21:15:00.000-05:00

Let The Fun BeginYeah Vacation! I made sure and had one of my vacation weeks scheduled for November. For ease of NaNoing. If I had any sense I would have scheduled both weeks in November, but I think The Man and The Girl would have a problem with that. They don't mind one week, but I think two would be pushing it. I don't have anything planned except typing day and night. The Man is convinced I

2007-11-01T20:32:00.000-05:00

Aaaaaaaand They're Off!Well, NaNoWriMo is officially here. I was off today, so I spent all day playing on the computer. I wrote 4,000 words. A good, solid start. I like my story so far, but I can't come up with a good title. So far I'm just calling it Laura because that's the main character's name, but I want to come up with something better. Something catchy. Of course, simplicity is a good

2007-10-25T10:22:00.000-05:00

Ready For WinterThis week we finally put the garden to bed. We pulled up all the pathetic excuses for tomato plants. We had about 7 or 8 tomato plants and they just didn't do crap. They did a lot better than my potato plants did. I got nothing. One potato that was fairly decent and a couple of acorn sized babies. Of course, I started out with sprouts from the kitchen that were on their way to the

2007-10-06T08:18:00.000-05:00

NaNoWriMo, Part 2I don't know why I quit posting pieces of Sassafras, but since nobody ever complained I guess nobody misses it. Just so you know, it ends happily ever after. Maybe I'll finish posting it, maybe I'll just say fuck it. Right now I have something more important to think about. It's almost November. That means it's almost time to write another novel. I took last year off since I'd

2007-10-05T21:40:00.000-05:00

Sleepy TimeWell, I really did end up getting a C-PAP machine. I've been using it the last few days. Can't say I really like it. It's uncomfortable and has that new hose smell. I don't think I'm nearly as bad as The Man was when he got his machine. He was seriously dragging his ass. I didn't feel like I was all that sleepy to start with. I mean, I didn't have much get up and go, but I think it's

2007-10-02T08:28:00.000-05:00

OopsThe Girl finally got her driving permit. Not that she tried before and failed, she just never tried. She passed her first time. The Man has taken her driving several times, but Sunday was the first time I did. We had a lot of running around to do. Picking up medicine, buying more dye to tie-dye sheets for the basement, hitting junk stores for more sheets, then my favorite: the library. I did

2007-09-28T22:54:00.000-05:00

MotivationWell, I went to the doctor to find out about the sleep study. Just like diabetes, I sort of have sleep apnea. It's normal to have a little problem sleeping. Most people never even know it. I stopped breathing just often enough to need a C-PAP machine. If I feel like it. Or I could just get a mouth piece to hold my jaw forward more. Eh. Or I could have surgery. Oh, hell no.Or I could

2007-09-25T20:19:00.000-05:00

Spring CleaningWe've had an extremely late bout of spring cleaning here at the Cud household. I kept saying I wanted to clean up the basement on my vacation, but never did. Yesterday we finally started. We got a lot of just plain junk ready to throw out next trash day. We're going to move a lot of stuff around down there. I'm going to have a place finally for all my candles and candle supplies,

2007-09-21T21:04:00.000-05:00

Sleepy TimeI thought about kicking and screaming, but knew it wouldn't do any good. Wednesday night I went in for the sleep study. I forgot to wear the pirate eye patch. I was disappointed because the lady that was in charge came in and woke me up about 3am. She made me put on a C-PAP machine, so maybe I have sleep apnea like The Man. Of course, the sleep lab is set up for only two people, and

2007-09-13T16:53:00.000-05:00

What NextI went to the doctor again today. I've been having trouble sleeping. Not trouble getting to sleep though. I get to sleep okay, but wake up in the middle of the night with pain in my lower ribdal area. It feels like wearing a bra a couple of sizes too small, but a little lower. The doctor said it sounds like, get this, I might have sleep apnea. He said that area is right where my diaphram

2007-09-11T11:13:00.000-05:00

Better Than KittensWe have new carpet. Again. I'm sure I probably mentioned our carpet woes before. The Man went on a mission earlier this year. He wanted a new improved living room. Something like Bush's theory of Shock and Awe bombing. Pow! New living room. We went out and bought new furniture and carpet. Had to replace both. This is the third try on the carpet. The first carpet was defective.

2007-09-09T11:10:00.000-05:00

Hangin' With Mr. StabbyI've been using the blood tester I named Mr. Stabby. So far, I don't think I really have much of a problem with diabetes. If I just cut back on sweets and get my lazy butt off the couch more I'd be fine. My blood sugar was only over 200 once, after I'd had some goodies. Donuts or something. I'm on vacation this week and I thought it would be fun to have a sugarfest and see

2007-09-05T19:03:00.001-05:00

Homeland What?I was listening to NPR on the way home from work today. They were talking about the national tragedy of designer knock-offs. Apparently that really is a national tragedy because they said to call Homeland Security if you have a problem with someone smuggling in counterfeit shoes or whatever. I feel so much safer knowing Homeland Security is protecting me from fake sunglasses and

2007-09-04T22:10:00.000-05:00

A Quick Course In EconomicsWell, my toothache is gone. So is my tooth. I went to the dentist today and had to make a choice. Either spend $2000 on a root canal and crown, or $200 to yank the tooth. Even considering insurance would have paid for half of either one, I still didn't want to spend $1000 on one tooth. Our finances haven't been exactly rosy since I had to take off work practically all

2007-09-02T22:03:00.000-05:00

Back In The Saddle AgainWell, my extended vacation ended last Monday. I've been working half-days, just 10 to 2. I have to work all next week and then guess what happens? I get to go on my scheduled week of vacation. It doesn't seem right to go on vacation after only being back two weeks, but I'm just going to have to be brave. The first day back was pretty rough. I felt like my brain shrunk

2007-08-09T20:53:00.000-05:00

Good News And BadI finally had a mammogram last weekend. The results came in today. Both boobies are fine. Then today I went to get the results of my diabetes test. Not so good. The doctor said I'm pre-diabetic. Of course, The Man completely freaked out. He thinks I'm practically dying. I'm over weight and a complete couch potato. Diabetes runs deep in my family. It's not like this is a big

2007-07-26T14:24:00.000-05:00

Try This At HomeI saw something on the news last week or so about how bottled water is bad for the environment. Not because they're sucking up all the water out of the clear mountain springs, but because all the plastic bottles are cluttering up the landfills. Plus, how environmentally friendly is it to bottle water in France and ship it all the way to California? Like French water is somehow

2007-07-24T15:52:00.000-05:00

PottedSaturday was Harry Potter Day at Casa Del Cud. The Girl and I went to the mall (ugh!) and bought the last book and saw the 5th movie. The movie was good. Of course, they had to cut some things and combine scenes or the movie would have been 15 hours long and who would want to watch that? Some of the changes were improvements, which is different than most movie adaptations of books. Usually

2007-07-22T16:27:00.000-05:00

Pain In The NeckI finally saw a back doctor. He said I have a slipped disk that's pinching a nerve. Tell me something I didn't know already. He said it would probably get better eventually on it's own, but it might take a year or two. Physical therapy might help, but who knows. Maybe shots in my back would help, but I don't know if they would actually make my back better or just mask the pain. It

2007-07-19T11:11:00.000-05:00

Still WaitingWell, my flipper is still busted. I've been to a couple of physical therapy sessions. The first one was nice, they just had me do a little stretching and put my head in a traction machine. Maybe by the time this is over I'll be taller. The next time I went to therapy they hurt me. I started doing actual exercises, not just stretching. I have a long pink piece of rubber that I was

2007-07-03T19:21:00.000-05:00

And Now...We WaitWell, I survived the MRI. It was weird. I heard they were loud, but good lord. The woman who ran it gave me earplugs so I didn't get the full effect, but still. It wasn't just loud, it made weird noises. For a few minutes it sounded like a jackhammer, then it would stop. Then it would start making noises like the emergency broadcasting test on the radio. Over and over. Then quiet

2007-06-30T18:21:00.000-05:00

Bein' HavedWell, I'm still alive and kicking. Just barely. My head hasn't exploded yet. The Man checks my blood pressure about four or five times a day, and it's been high a couple of times, but 140ish high, not scary high. Most of the time it's been fine. I have an appointment to get an MRI next week, and then I go back to the doctor the week after that. So I'm off work for two weeks. An

2007-06-26T19:49:00.001-05:00

DegenerateI know what you're thinking. Two posts in two days and then I'm going to disappear for another couple of months. But you're wrong. I have a good excuse for not blogging lately. I'm a degenerate. Or at least, something in my neck or back degenerated and now I have a pinched nerve. For a few days I've had pain in my shoulder every now and then. If you've ever slept with your arm twisted

2007-06-23T22:19:00.000-05:00

Happy DanceI'm doing a major happy dance right now. I finally got the CD I ordered of my favorite album of all time. The Fine Art of Surfacing by the Boomtown Rats is the CD I would want on a deserted island. I had an 8-track of it, then a cassette. I think I used to have it on vinyl, too, but I'm not sure. I played the cassette in my Mustang so often my boyfriend at the time got pissed at me

2007-06-22T21:26:00.001-05:00

Thoroughly In The GutterThe other day a man called at work and asked me to look for a number in Phoenix. I thought he wanted me to look at his penis. I had an image of some dirty old man sitting in a recliner, holding the receiver down in front of his crotch. I'm glad I was too speechless to say anything until after he said something about Arizona and I realized he was saying Phoenix, not

2007-04-29T13:00:00.000-05:00

I'm HotYesterday the Man and the Girl went to a nursery and bought some plants. Now we have a garden. We have 9 tomatoes, 2 cantaloupes, 2 watermelons, 10 strawberries, 4 red potatoes, and 4 brown potatoes. The potatoes weren't store bought. Well, technically they were, but really they're just some potatoes that were laying around the kitchen long enough to start sprouting.They also bought some

2007-04-28T21:40:00.000-05:00

Excuse Me?I had a couple of weird calls today. First, somebody called and asked for Coffinwood Something or Other. At least that's what I heard. They wanted Cottonwood Whatever. I was looking for some sort of funeral home or something, but I think it was a restaurant. Then right after that someone called in and wanted the Johnson Kill Center. WTF? It was the Johnson Care Center.

2007-04-26T22:52:00.000-05:00

Now We're BummingThe Man got some bad news the other day. The man that works on our car, or I should say worked, is currently making license plates for the state somewhere. He got busted with some form of illegal drugs but I'm not sure about the what he had. He's going to be gone for an extended vacation, I think 15 to 20 years. Sucks to be him, but now we have to find a new mechanic. Of course,

2007-04-24T07:42:00.000-05:00

Sassafras, Part 90JoanI stumbled outside and got in Rusty’s truck. It felt strange compared to Jenny's car. This was a huge SUV, black and silver with leather seats and everything but a coffee maker. For all I knew there was one in the glove box. I drove back to the empty house as quickly as I could. I hoped Billy was still there. I told him to stay there after I left, but if I didn't come back

2007-04-20T21:19:00.000-05:00

Oh Good Gracious!I can't believe I let the chance to patent this little jewel slip through my fingers when Little Dog humped her teddy bears ragged. I'm actually speechless.