Sign Me Up
I was starting to wonder when all this new technology was going to come together, spaceship wise. NASA can only do so much, then it's up to the independent businessman. The company that won the $10 million Ansari X Prise is building what they're calling a suborbital spaceliner. Tickets are selling for $200,000. There are already 200 people who have paid for their tickets, and 82,000 who have 'expressed interest' and the spaceships aren't even built yet. Still, I would go if I had a spare $200,000 laying around. I remember when I thought I would probably be able to live on the moon when I grew up. Now I would be happy to just take a quick spin around the planet and go home.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
International Operator of Mystery
It looks like I'm moving up in the world at work. Like it or not. A couple of days ago I listened to another operator, another one of the operators of the year, give test calls to people in another call center. I never realized how loud the keyboard was. It made me want to watch my tone a little closer. Show off my chippy side.
So now I'm hopefully going to be able to do the same thing for an hour every week. Whoo whoo.
And they also said they might train me to work at the desk to fill in for people. Mostly, that would mean any desk work I would get would be about 4 to midnight, but at least then I wouldn't have to worry about customers, just company stuff. I can't decide if I want to go back to those late hours mixed in with my quasi-normal 9-10ish to 6-7ish.
It looks like I'm moving up in the world at work. Like it or not. A couple of days ago I listened to another operator, another one of the operators of the year, give test calls to people in another call center. I never realized how loud the keyboard was. It made me want to watch my tone a little closer. Show off my chippy side.
So now I'm hopefully going to be able to do the same thing for an hour every week. Whoo whoo.
And they also said they might train me to work at the desk to fill in for people. Mostly, that would mean any desk work I would get would be about 4 to midnight, but at least then I wouldn't have to worry about customers, just company stuff. I can't decide if I want to go back to those late hours mixed in with my quasi-normal 9-10ish to 6-7ish.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Random Work Babbling
There are some things about work that just tick me off. Like lawyers who list their number as the Law Office of Somebody or Other. Doctors never list as the Medical Office of Whoever. Nobody does. Except lawyers. Jerks. Another thing that bugs me is stupid Utah streets that are all just numbers. 1546 North 3550 West. What the hell? That's not a street address, that a map coordinate. Somebody give those poor streets names for God's sake. And then there's the kudzu of California listings, Keiser Permanente. I think every city in California has some version of that company. If you ask me, every hospital should have it's own name. St. John's Mercy or something. Even Midtown Medical or whatever. Even if they're all owned by the same parent company, give them a little personality. When you say what hospital someone is in, people should know what hospital you're talking about.
At work we have our own seasons. Right now it's tax season. Before that it was Valentine's season. I think the next season is the Honeybaked Ham season, better know as Easter. The season I hate the most is back to school season. People should know the phone number for the school their kid goes to, right? Or at least know the actual name of the school, or what street it's on, or something. And then there's Halloween season. I'll tell you a secret. Most mazes and hayrides and pumpkin patches don't have telephones. Just drive there, okay?
There are some things about work that just tick me off. Like lawyers who list their number as the Law Office of Somebody or Other. Doctors never list as the Medical Office of Whoever. Nobody does. Except lawyers. Jerks. Another thing that bugs me is stupid Utah streets that are all just numbers. 1546 North 3550 West. What the hell? That's not a street address, that a map coordinate. Somebody give those poor streets names for God's sake. And then there's the kudzu of California listings, Keiser Permanente. I think every city in California has some version of that company. If you ask me, every hospital should have it's own name. St. John's Mercy or something. Even Midtown Medical or whatever. Even if they're all owned by the same parent company, give them a little personality. When you say what hospital someone is in, people should know what hospital you're talking about.
At work we have our own seasons. Right now it's tax season. Before that it was Valentine's season. I think the next season is the Honeybaked Ham season, better know as Easter. The season I hate the most is back to school season. People should know the phone number for the school their kid goes to, right? Or at least know the actual name of the school, or what street it's on, or something. And then there's Halloween season. I'll tell you a secret. Most mazes and hayrides and pumpkin patches don't have telephones. Just drive there, okay?
Monday, February 05, 2007
Yes, I Am That Awesome
I am such a good telephone operator they made me Operator of the Year for last year. That isn't really as impressive as it sounds, because there are four of us, one for every group of 40 or 50 random employees. I got a cool pen with my name engraved on it. I've never had anything with my name engraved on it beside name tags at work. I also got to go out to eat for lunch and pig out on Italian food. I'm not sure if I was getting paid, or if it was considered a lunch break, but I don't care. The food was delicious, and I didn't have to deal with any customers.
I am such a good telephone operator they made me Operator of the Year for last year. That isn't really as impressive as it sounds, because there are four of us, one for every group of 40 or 50 random employees. I got a cool pen with my name engraved on it. I've never had anything with my name engraved on it beside name tags at work. I also got to go out to eat for lunch and pig out on Italian food. I'm not sure if I was getting paid, or if it was considered a lunch break, but I don't care. The food was delicious, and I didn't have to deal with any customers.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Sassafras, Part 87
Rick
Sneider pointed at McDaniel and Thompson. "You two go find that shed. Don’t come back without that boy.”
"Are you sure you want to just send those two?" I asked him. "Joan said she left him there, but what if she's lying, or he didn't stay there? He could be wandering around town. What if somebody sees your deputies pick him up and get curious about it? No offense, but Barney and Grandpa here don’t really inspire much confidence. I think you and Franklin should go, too. The sooner you find him the less chance of somebody seeing anything. She isn’t going anywhere."
He thought it over a second. "McDaniel, you stay here and keep an eye on this bitch, the rest of us will start looking for the boy. You coming, too, Rick?"
"Ooh, are you going to deputize me like on TV?" I was disappointed that he was leaving anyone behind. I hoped I could just sneak back and bust her loose while everybody was gone. Time to come with Plan B. Or was it already Plan C or D? I’d lost count. I spelled ‘Don’t worry’ and felt her nod slightly again. Or, maybe she was just shaking. It was so hard to tell.
"Don't be a dick. Are you coming?"
I grinned at Joan and swooped in for a quick kiss. "I’ll see you again soon, Babe,” I said and squeezed her shoulder a little before finally letting go of her. “Sure, I'll go. I need to stop and get some gas, but I'll be right there."
We all left the room. I got in my car and started it up, but as soon as everyone else pulled out I shut it off. Now I just had to find a way to get rid of McDaniel. I couldn’t just walk in there and say ‘Hey, why don’t we let Joan go?’ I thought about going in there and start swinging, but I didn’t like the idea of going up barehanded against someone with a gun. It’s a shame they don’t make tire irons like they used to. The thin piece of shit that came with my car wouldn’t dent a marshmallow. I wasn’t sure if it would even take off a lug nut or if it would just twist. I wished I left my toolbox in the trunk of my car Saturday. A nice heavy socket wrench would do the trick.
Oh, well, I just had to think of something else. The two most potent drives are greed and sex. I didn’t have any way to tempt him with money. Not with all the money he was getting working with Sneider. And he was getting plenty. Just a month ago he picked out a $35,000 Chevy Suburban that he wanted. I used a false name and bought one with his share of the money he’d saved up. Then I faked some paperwork showing it was confiscated in a drug raid. Then McDaniel bought it from the police station for $2000. There was no way I was going to be able to top that.
The only thing I could tempt him with was sex. I was going to have to tempt him with Joan. Good Lord, I was going to have to talk him into raping her. Or trying to. There was no way I was going to let him touch her. No way in hell. I just had to hold back long enough for him to uncuff her. Once she was loose I could keep him busy while she got out of there. I was pretty sure I could take him out, but I didn’t know how long it would take. The last thing I needed was for Sneider to come back while we were still fighting if Joan was still chained to that damn chair. I wanted to make sure Joan could get the hell out of there no matter what happened between me and McDaniel.
When I walked inside McDaniel looked up at me. "I thought you were going with Sneider.”
"I was going to, but a I had an idea. I was wondering if you'd do me a favor.”
He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "What do you have in mind?"
"Well, while I was babysitting Joan I kind of got used to fucking her. I get the feeling in a couple of hours there's not going to be much left worth fucking. Believe me, she's worth fucking."
"You're thinking of sex at a time like this?"
"You spend seven years with nobody for company except Rosie Palm and her five sisters and see how long until you can think of anything else," I said. "And besides, that girl has skills. You should try her. And don't give me any shit about being married. I’ve seen your wife. And after all, it's not like Joan's going to go tell anybody about it afterward, is she?"
He looked tempted. "Come on, man, you owe me. If you don't want to do her, at least uncuff her and let me get a little. I'll do her right there on the table, or in the holding cell on the cot, bent over the sink, I don't care. You can watch if you want."
"Is she really that good, or are you just that horny?"
"She's that good," I promised. "And I’m that horny. Come on, man, I've seen you checking her out."
He fidgeted in his chair a minute, then reached for the keys hanging on the wall behind him. “I get the feeling I’m going to regret this,” he said as he stood up. Yes, I thought, hopefully you will.
She was standing by the chair, twisting her arm, trying to pull out of the handcuff when we walked in the interrogation room. "Let me go, Rusty," she begged. "Let me go. You know me. Please, you were my dad’s best friend. I won't say anything, I swear. I’ll do anything you want."
McDaniel leered at her. “I know you will, Sugar.” When he reached down and grabbed her breast she started screaming and trying to twist out of his grasp but just fell back onto the chair. "No, please," she started begging. "Rick, do something."
"Shut up, you little bitch," he said and slapped her hard. "Rick's not going to do anything. At least not until I'm done." She just sank down and went limp.
It was all I could do to wait until he actually unlocked the handcuff before I jumped on him, pounding him as hard as I could. I surprised him, but for an old man he was a lot tougher than I expected. He landed a couple of punches that made my head spin.
"Run, Joan! Get out of here! Run!" I yelled, but she just sat there staring at us. After a second I saw her get up and hoped she had enough sense to get the hell out of there. The next thing I knew Joan was pounding McDaniel's back with her high heels. He screamed out and started going for his gun. I grabbed his arm and tripped him. We were both on the floor trying to get control of his gun when I heard it go off. It was weird, being shot. It didn't feel as painful as I expected. Maybe because I had so much adrenaline running through me.
The gun went off twice more, and it wasn't until he went limp that I realized he had been shot, too. I was able to push him off me and pulled the gun out of his hand. He wasn’t moving so I touched his wrist but couldn’t feel a pulse. There was already a big pool of blood seeping out from under him. I checked for a pulse in his neck but there was nothing. For a while I just sat there, stunned. McDaniel was dead. Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.
Rick
Sneider pointed at McDaniel and Thompson. "You two go find that shed. Don’t come back without that boy.”
"Are you sure you want to just send those two?" I asked him. "Joan said she left him there, but what if she's lying, or he didn't stay there? He could be wandering around town. What if somebody sees your deputies pick him up and get curious about it? No offense, but Barney and Grandpa here don’t really inspire much confidence. I think you and Franklin should go, too. The sooner you find him the less chance of somebody seeing anything. She isn’t going anywhere."
He thought it over a second. "McDaniel, you stay here and keep an eye on this bitch, the rest of us will start looking for the boy. You coming, too, Rick?"
"Ooh, are you going to deputize me like on TV?" I was disappointed that he was leaving anyone behind. I hoped I could just sneak back and bust her loose while everybody was gone. Time to come with Plan B. Or was it already Plan C or D? I’d lost count. I spelled ‘Don’t worry’ and felt her nod slightly again. Or, maybe she was just shaking. It was so hard to tell.
"Don't be a dick. Are you coming?"
I grinned at Joan and swooped in for a quick kiss. "I’ll see you again soon, Babe,” I said and squeezed her shoulder a little before finally letting go of her. “Sure, I'll go. I need to stop and get some gas, but I'll be right there."
We all left the room. I got in my car and started it up, but as soon as everyone else pulled out I shut it off. Now I just had to find a way to get rid of McDaniel. I couldn’t just walk in there and say ‘Hey, why don’t we let Joan go?’ I thought about going in there and start swinging, but I didn’t like the idea of going up barehanded against someone with a gun. It’s a shame they don’t make tire irons like they used to. The thin piece of shit that came with my car wouldn’t dent a marshmallow. I wasn’t sure if it would even take off a lug nut or if it would just twist. I wished I left my toolbox in the trunk of my car Saturday. A nice heavy socket wrench would do the trick.
Oh, well, I just had to think of something else. The two most potent drives are greed and sex. I didn’t have any way to tempt him with money. Not with all the money he was getting working with Sneider. And he was getting plenty. Just a month ago he picked out a $35,000 Chevy Suburban that he wanted. I used a false name and bought one with his share of the money he’d saved up. Then I faked some paperwork showing it was confiscated in a drug raid. Then McDaniel bought it from the police station for $2000. There was no way I was going to be able to top that.
The only thing I could tempt him with was sex. I was going to have to tempt him with Joan. Good Lord, I was going to have to talk him into raping her. Or trying to. There was no way I was going to let him touch her. No way in hell. I just had to hold back long enough for him to uncuff her. Once she was loose I could keep him busy while she got out of there. I was pretty sure I could take him out, but I didn’t know how long it would take. The last thing I needed was for Sneider to come back while we were still fighting if Joan was still chained to that damn chair. I wanted to make sure Joan could get the hell out of there no matter what happened between me and McDaniel.
When I walked inside McDaniel looked up at me. "I thought you were going with Sneider.”
"I was going to, but a I had an idea. I was wondering if you'd do me a favor.”
He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "What do you have in mind?"
"Well, while I was babysitting Joan I kind of got used to fucking her. I get the feeling in a couple of hours there's not going to be much left worth fucking. Believe me, she's worth fucking."
"You're thinking of sex at a time like this?"
"You spend seven years with nobody for company except Rosie Palm and her five sisters and see how long until you can think of anything else," I said. "And besides, that girl has skills. You should try her. And don't give me any shit about being married. I’ve seen your wife. And after all, it's not like Joan's going to go tell anybody about it afterward, is she?"
He looked tempted. "Come on, man, you owe me. If you don't want to do her, at least uncuff her and let me get a little. I'll do her right there on the table, or in the holding cell on the cot, bent over the sink, I don't care. You can watch if you want."
"Is she really that good, or are you just that horny?"
"She's that good," I promised. "And I’m that horny. Come on, man, I've seen you checking her out."
He fidgeted in his chair a minute, then reached for the keys hanging on the wall behind him. “I get the feeling I’m going to regret this,” he said as he stood up. Yes, I thought, hopefully you will.
She was standing by the chair, twisting her arm, trying to pull out of the handcuff when we walked in the interrogation room. "Let me go, Rusty," she begged. "Let me go. You know me. Please, you were my dad’s best friend. I won't say anything, I swear. I’ll do anything you want."
McDaniel leered at her. “I know you will, Sugar.” When he reached down and grabbed her breast she started screaming and trying to twist out of his grasp but just fell back onto the chair. "No, please," she started begging. "Rick, do something."
"Shut up, you little bitch," he said and slapped her hard. "Rick's not going to do anything. At least not until I'm done." She just sank down and went limp.
It was all I could do to wait until he actually unlocked the handcuff before I jumped on him, pounding him as hard as I could. I surprised him, but for an old man he was a lot tougher than I expected. He landed a couple of punches that made my head spin.
"Run, Joan! Get out of here! Run!" I yelled, but she just sat there staring at us. After a second I saw her get up and hoped she had enough sense to get the hell out of there. The next thing I knew Joan was pounding McDaniel's back with her high heels. He screamed out and started going for his gun. I grabbed his arm and tripped him. We were both on the floor trying to get control of his gun when I heard it go off. It was weird, being shot. It didn't feel as painful as I expected. Maybe because I had so much adrenaline running through me.
The gun went off twice more, and it wasn't until he went limp that I realized he had been shot, too. I was able to push him off me and pulled the gun out of his hand. He wasn’t moving so I touched his wrist but couldn’t feel a pulse. There was already a big pool of blood seeping out from under him. I checked for a pulse in his neck but there was nothing. For a while I just sat there, stunned. McDaniel was dead. Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.
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