Sassafras, Part 83

Joan


I was cold and hungry, and I had to pee really bad. I finally broke down and went to the bathroom. There wasn’t any toilet paper, but somebody left a roll of paper towels under the sink. Thank God for small favors, I thought. When I came back to the living room Billy was back on the couch. I distracted him by telling stories about what Jenny and I used to do when we hid out there. I told him about our wild side, sitting around drinking wine coolers, or maybe passing a bottle of cheap wine back and forth, smoking cigarettes, maybe even, believe it or not, an occasional joint.

"I didn't know Mom ever smoked weed," he said.

"Well, it's not like we were junkies or anything. We didn't hang out here shooting up or having orgies. We used to think we were so cool, sitting around smoking and drinking and cussing. You should have seen us flirt with the bartender at Tanner’s. Then when she started dating your father we started going to parties and getting drunk off our ass. I remember once your mom got so drunk at a party she took off all her clothes and your dad had to chase her all through the house to get her to put them back on."

"Mom never mentioned anything like that. I never knew she was a party animal."

"Don't cheerleaders party anymore?"

"I don't know. No cheerleader would have anything to do with me. I'm too ugly."

"You're not ugly, Billy. You look just like your dad when he was your age. You just need to grow up a little. Trust me, a year or two from now you're going to be tall dark and handsome."

He didn't look like he believed me. "Yeah, right."

"Oh, yeah. Until he gained weight your dad looked like a scarecrow. I wish I had some pictures of him from before they started dating. He looked like Gilligan. You know, from Gilligan's Island?"

"Gilligan was the one with the stupid white hat, right?"

"Yeah, that was Gilligan."

"So you're saying I look like Gilligan?"

"Well, it's not so much that your face looks like Gilligan, you're just thin and gangly like he was."

"What was Mom like?"

"She was always pretty. A lot prettier than me. Maybe just because she was older than me. I used to think she was perfect, and I was some kind of freak ugly duckling. You know she was a cheerleader, but she was also on the volleyball and track team. She could do back flips and cartwheels and splits. She could jump, too, just like a kangaroo. She won a medal at a track meet for the long jump, or broad jump, I don't remember which. I never won a medal for anything. I was about as athletic as a stump."

We sat and talked for a long time. I was glad Billy was finally starting to open up a little. I had been feeling like I was a failure as an aunt. I mean, I tried to avoid coming to Sassafras as much as I could, so I didn't really know Billy. To me, he would always be the little boy who used to follow me around all the time before I left for college. I always just sent Jenny money to buy his Christmas and birthday presents because I had no idea what he liked or what he already had. I didn't know what music he liked, or if he liked sports. I didn't even know if he was left or right handed until now.

Sassafras, Part 82

Joan


It was absolutely freezing in that house. I found a stained pair of sweat pants in a closet and slid them on under my dress. There weren't any covers. The closest thing I found was an old curtain, so I sat on the couch and covered up as much as I could with my coat. Billy snooped around in all the closets and cabinets, then went downstairs. He came back up with an armload of games and jigsaw puzzles. There was a Monopoly game without any money and about half of the cards, an Operation game without any of the pieces and no battery, and a chessboard with about half the pieces. He sat on the floor looking over the games, and then went in the kitchen and started putting one of the puzzles together on the floor.

The later it got the harder it snowed and the colder it got. A couple of times I thought I heard sirens and worried about the police were searching for us. We should stay away from the windows, just in case. Or even better go upstairs. Eventually it got so cold Billy got tired of the puzzle he was putting together. I decided to have him help move the couch against the front wall, so if anybody looked in the window they wouldn’t see us. I found out why whoever lived there left the couch. It must have been a sleeper sofa because it weighed about as much as I imagined Jenny’s car did. When we finished moving the couch we both huddled together under the curtain. He wanted to know when we were going to be able to leave, and I didn't know what to tell him.

"I don't know, Bill," I said, looking at my watch. "I don't think we'll have to stay here very long. Rick should have called by now. He’ll be worried.”

"I don't care about Rick. If he’s working with Stapleton and Sneider why are you listening to him anyway?"

"I don’t know," I said. "I trust him. I don’t know why, but I do. I wish you would, too." Even while I told Billy I trusted Rick, doubts zipped through my mind like bees on a rosebush. Could I really trust him? What was he hiding?

"Well, I don't trust him. I don't know why you do. I think you just want to get laid."

"Billy! You don't know him."

"You don't know him either. Admit it, Aunt Jo. You don't know him. All you know is what he told you. You don't know if he's telling you the truth or not."

I had to laugh. "You sound just like Rick, Bill."

There was no way we could spend the night in that house with nothing for a cover except a curtain. I was going to have to do something, but I didn’t know what. We couldn’t go home. Not if Rick was right. That was the last place we should go. I tried to come up with a plan, but everything I thought of ended with ‘and then Rick shows up.’ It was almost 2:30 and I didn’t know what to do.

"Well, there's a payphone down at the gas station on Jackson,” Billy suggested. “We can call Rick from there."

I walked over and looked out the window. The snow was still coming down, blowing swiftly to the east now. The thought of walking all the way to Jackson Street wasn’t very appealing, but neither was staying there and freezing to death. The clouds were getting darker, promising even more snow. “I’ll go once it gets dark outside.” He opened his mouth but I didn’t give him a chance to argue. “You’ll stay here. There’s no sense both of us going.”

“But Aunt Jo,” he started.

“No. I’m going. You’re staying. That’s final.” He looked like he wanted to argue some more, but he just snorted. We sat in silence for a while, and then Billy got up and started snooping around the house some more. I just sat there thinking about what he said. Did I really know Rick? I thought about all the time we spent together. I remembered the first time I met him at Tanner's. I remembered how good it felt when he kissed me. That was the first time since I got to Sassafras that I forgot about Jenny. I had been able to forget about Jenny and Billy and everything that was wrong when I was with him. All I could think about when I was with Rick was him, but what did I really know about him. Maybe Billy was right. I knew he hadn’t been telling me everything. He admitted he hadn’t. How did I know if what he had been telling me was the truth or not? I was sitting there freezing and I didn't even know if I could trust him or not. But I did trust him. I couldn't explain why, but I did.

Sassafras, Part 81

Joan

I stood there for a minute looking at the phone. I about jumped out of my skin when I heard a car on the street, but when I looked out the window it was just driving by.

"Billy," I said, "get your coat! We've got to leave."

He looked up at the clock. "You said we don’t have to be there until noon."

"We have to leave right now, Billy. Get your coat, quick."

"But Aunt Jo," he started.

"Don't argue, just get your coat. I'll explain later but right now we have to go."

Billy grumbled a little, but turned off the TV and got up. He put his coat on and started heading for the front door.

"No, this way," I said and headed for the back door.

"What's going on, Aunt Jo?" he asked.

"Just come on, Billy," I said and looked out the window before opening the back door. It was still snowing, big fat flakes. Shit, I was wearing a dress and high heels. "Let's go."

We cut through the alley in back of the house, the wind blowing snow in my face and making my coat flap open while I struggled to button it and hold onto my purse at the same time. I tripped on something under the snow and heard something snap when I landed. I pulled my cell phone out of my coat pocket saw a big crack across the cover. When I tried to flip it open the entire top half snapped off in my hand.

“Damn it,” I muttered as I tried to make the pieces fit back together before giving up in frustration and stuffing the remains back in my pocket.

“What happened?”

“I broke my cellphone.”

"Who was that you were talking to?"

"Rick. He said Stapleton is the one who killed Jenny." We crossed the street and headed south. I was glad there had been enough cars driving by to disturb the snow enough for us to walk without leaving an obvious trail. The wind would also help, drifting snow over the footprints we did leave.

"Stapleton? That guy we’re supposed to meet? Why did he say that?”

“He said Stapleton and Sneider were working together.”

“How does he know?”

“I don’t know. I think maybe he’s working with them, too.” It really hurt to admit that, but it was the only thing that made sense. Except how did he know about the picture?

Billy thought that over. "Well, where are we going?" he asked.

"Your mom and I had a hideout. I think we can still get in."

"Mom had a hideout? Where?"

"It's close. Just around the corner and the end of the street." I remembered all the times Jenny and I would skip school and sit around smoking and drinking wine coolers, or all the time we hung out there during the summer.

I had Billy wait for me behind a van while I snuck through the back yard. The back door was locked, but the basement window was still loose. I kicked the sill a couple of times and the lock popped open. Just like the good old days, I thought. When I had the window open I waved Billy over. We climbed in the window and shut it back up.

I couldn’t help looking at the house from a business standpoint. It would be a good investment. It looked better than it did when I was growing up, inside and out. The back yard was cleaned up, and there was a child’s swing set in the back yard, bright red and yellow striped poles with tiny plastic swings and an equally tiny plastic slide. There were new windows in the living room, and the kitchen had been redone. Someone must have bought it and fixed the place up, but it looked like it had been empty for a while. There was still some furniture, a beat up old couch and some kitchen chairs, a stained mattress in one of the bedrooms.

Then I remembered the secret stash. I dug around in the kitchen until I found a knife, and then went upstairs into the back bedroom. I sat down in front of an air vent and pried the cover off with the knife. Bingo. Inside was some change, a couple of dried up Twinkies, a melted candle, a half of a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a baggie with two joints in it.

"Aunt Jo!" Billy marveled. "Is that yours?"

"Mine and your mom's. I can't believe it's still here." I pulled one of the joints out and sniffed it, but it smelled like dust.

"Are you going to smoke that?" he asked.

"No, I'm not that desperate yet. Maybe after these cigarettes are gone. You want to try one of those Twinkies?"

"Thanks, Aunt Jo. Maybe later." He smiled at me and picked up the lighter, but the spring snapped when he tried to light it.

"What are we going to do now?" he asked.

"I don't know. Wait for Rick."