Here's a web site that you might be interested in. Assuming you think there is going to be a global catastrophy and worlwide anarchy before the end of the year. On the other hand, you might be interested in checking it out if you just want a good laugh. I'm not going to give you my views on the subject, except to say you just never know.

I am very glad I can write in here again. I have been having the worse time with my internet server. My neighbor decided to start his own high speed internet service. Finally my husband decided we would drop our slow dial-up provider and join our neighbor's server. Unfortunately, after that our neighbor had a change of heart and was going to sell the whole thing. Of course, once he decided to sell he lost interest in the little things, like making sure you could actually get on-line. There was one thing after another keeping me from getting on line. Lightning hit the broadcast tower. A high wind knocked over the antenna. Then for a while thee was a loose connection somewhere. After being on-line for a few minutes the wind would blow and the wires would jiggle around and suddenly the computer couldn't connect with the server. I had very bad thoughts about my neighbor. Whenever I could get on I had to rush to download my mail before I lost the connection or my mailbox would fill up and explode. Thankfully, he decided to keep the business and actually (hopefully) improved the service.

Do you remember all the excitement a year or two ago about an innovative transportation device? A powerful scooter that could go anywhere and ran on electric power. It was supposed to change the way the world looked at cars and highways and gas stations. It's code-name was Ginger, then when it came out they named it Segway. Here's a link where you can finally order one. And it's less than $5,000! Get one now, while supplies last.

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I knew it was going to be a bad day when I looked out the window and saw that damn space ship parked in my yard again. The last time those aliens landed their space ship in my yard it took two months for the grass to grow back. I put on my baseball cap and grabbed the only thing I could find laying around by the front door. Was it a baseball bat, or a nice iron fireplace poker? No, it was just a stupid umbrella, but at least I had something to wave in their faces. Maybe their big bubble heads are as soft as they look.

I guess they heard the door open because by the time I got around to their space ship two of them were already walking around the yard like they owned the place. The closest one turned to me and pointed his little ray gun at me. I think he about shit his little silver space suit when I didn't fall down and play dead. I started laughing and swinging that umbrella. They were running as fast as their bony little legs would go trying to keep away from me.

I was one step ahead of them this time. After the last time they showed up, or at least the last time I remember them showing up, I did a Google search on 'alien ray gun.' I had to wade through all kinds of crap about toy ray guns, movie ray gun replicas, and other crazy shit, but finally I found the antidote. It turns out all those crazy people are right. All I had to do was line my baseball cap with tin-foil.

I finally cornered them between the garage and my neighbor's privacy fence. I smacked them a few times with my umbrella, but they started crying and jabbering at me in whatever language they used. I started getting cocky. "Who's the man now?" I asked them, and smacked the closest one on it's bony ass. "Think you can just zap me with your ray gun and then do whatever you want? What do you feel like doing now?"

I guess I got a little too cocky. I know I shouldn't have taken off my baseball cap to show them the tin-foin lining. What was I thinking? The next thing I knew I was sitting in my car in my underwear. At least I was still in my driveway, not in a parking lot or drive-thru.

Never did find that umbrella.

Went out and pampered myself yesterday. I (gasp) cut my hair. Actually, I didn't cut it, the beautician cut it for me. My husband says it's way too short, I should wear a baseball cap untill it grows back. I love it. It's shorter than I wanted, but it's not too much too short. I just wanted it short enough so I wouldn't have to put my hair up in a ponytail at work, and I could drive with the window down in my car and not get smacked in the face with a handful of hair. Mom would be proud.

My neighbors have a black lab that just had nine puppies. Better them than us. She had them all over the floor of their baby's room. He's convinced he can sell them for $300 each. Maybe to city people, but out here in the country that's more than most people pay for their dogs. That's more than some people pay for their cars. I wish I could get $300 each for all the kittens my cats keep having. Shit, I'd take $300 for all the kittens. Who am I kidding, I'd just about pay people to take them. Right now I have five half-grown kittens, three full-time adult cats, and two that show up once every week or two. Oh, and I was noticing a certain plumpness on one of the full-time cats yesterday. I hear there's a way to stop this shower of kittens, but it involves spending money, so that's going to have to wait a while. The first animal going to the vet is going to be Little Dog, a chihuahua - dachsund mix. My husband keeps thinking we should let her have a litter, but I think not. We never have any luck getting rid of kittens, what makes him think we could get rid of puppies any easier?

I took a sick day yesterday. It felt great to be able to stay home because I was sick. I'm used to slaving, I mean working, in restaurants. There, a sick day is when you go to work even though you're sick. The factory I work at now has a slightly better sick day policy. You can stay home if you feel sick, but you don't get paid. Maybe some day I'll work where they have the mythical sick day where you get to stay home when you are sick but still get paid. I feel better today. At least I did when I woke up. Now that I'm home from work, I feel run down again. It's just a cold, but I really hate blowing my nose. It sounds gross, it feels gross, and it looks gross.

I'm planning an imaginary Christmas party. Every time somebody bugs me, I just decide they aren't invited to my Christmas party. If somebody cuts me off on the highway, they aren't invited. If somebody says something rude to me, they can't come to my party. It's sort of like the forward machine gun switch you can stick on your dashboard, except there aren't any flashing lights or cool sound effects. I've even banned characters on TV shows that irritate me.

Well, so far I suck as a Blogger. Right after I started writing here one thing after another went wrong or broke down.

First, electric went out. Then, the TV broke, and I couldn't sit in the office and listen to the TV, I had to watch the TV in the bedroom. Thankfully, the TV decided to come back from the dead. We got our TV from a friend of ours that couldn't stand it's personality any longer. If you turn off the power, you really have to sweet talk it into coming back on. You have to plug it in and unplug it, keep hitting the power button, cross your fingers and sprinkle a little holy water on the screen, and maybe it'll come on. To get around actually turning it off, you have to change the video input. Make it think it's going to get a video game or something, but since there isn't anything hooked up to that video input channel the screen just goes black. That works fine, except the electric went off, and the TV decided it didn't want to come back on.

We were just about ready to start looking at new TVs, when my husband decided to try it one more time. I was glad it came back on, because he wanted to spend a lot of money on a great big monster TV. I thought we should spend less money and get a smaller TV, but just set it on the coffee table right in front of the couch. Then it would look like a big screen TV. Of course, if we had company over they would have to sit on our laps if they wanted to watch TV.

My job is so dull
I'm trapped in my cubicle
Dreaming of escape

Just a little haiku to brighten your day. But I don't really work in a cubicle.

Just in case anybody doesn't know what cud is, here's a link. I wanted to name this blog the Daily Cud because I think it's important to think over things, not just go through life in a daze. It takes time to see what is important in life, and what is just sugar-coating.

I am trying to figure out how to add some links here, but not having any luck. I really wanted to add a couple of links, and I'm sure it's easy, but I just can't figure it out.

I'm going to try it again. This is a cool way to get rid of books.

Hot diggity dog, I did it. Now I am cool. I am so cool, I think I'm getting frostbite. Now to dig up the other links I wanted to put in here.

The Onion is the coolest web-paper. It's a cross between Mad magazine and National Lampoon.

I suppose everyone starts their first blog by announcing that it's their first blog, and I don't want to break that ancient tradition. This is my first blog. I'm not sure what I'll write about here, or how many links I'll decide to include. I don't surf the web all that much, really I don't. My husand thinks I might have a phone jack surgically inserted somewhere in my body for constant surfing, but he doesn't have any proof.

What will this blog be like? I want it to be a big mix of things. I just want to warn anybody who might eventually read this that I will probably write some fiction, but I'll try to make it obvious when I'm writing from Fantasy Island. The main reason I want to do this is to find out more about myself. You would think I would already know myself pretty well, living with myself for almost 40 years now, but I think I might be part empath, or chameleon. When I'm alone I have all these grand ideas and plans, but as soon as I come in contact with other people I start morphing into some kind of shadow of their personality. I want to write about the three main aspects of life: what I do, what I think, and what I feel. I also want to write about the past, and current events, and try to imagine what the future will be like. Basically I want to crawl inside my computer and drag the world in with me. I want there to be something saying I was here, I lived and breathed and dreamed.

I guess I should start with a short autobiography. I am 38, married, no children. In computer shorthand I'm a DINK: Double Income, No Kids. I have 2 dogs, a bunch of cats and an aquarium. I live in Missouri, near the Mississippi River. I've lived here most of my life. I've moved to different areas, but I keep moving back. There isn't anything special about this area, the school is average, the town is small, there aren't any impressive natural features.

Except the river. Maybe it's the river that keeps pulling me back. I grew up surrounded by water. There was a lake in front of my house, a swamp in back (yes, there are swamps in Missouri, not just Louisiana and Florida), and both of them connected to the Mississippi River with streams and creeks that circled my house. In the spring the river would flood, and the swamp and lake would rise up and join each other like long-lost friends. My house was built on piers so it would rise up out of the water. I don't have any idea how my parents kept their sanity when they had to drag 3 kids and 2 dogs around in boats from the house to the levee for weeks at a time. It wasn't that far, and if the weather was nice it wasn't bad, but some days it was windy, or rainy. Sometimes it even snowed. One Easter my mom actually went out in a boat and hid Easter eggs in tree branches so we could paddle around and hunt them.

Yes, those were the Good Old Days. My family owned almost 100 acres, but most of it was swamp or woods, and it all submerged at least once a year so it wasn't very valuable. The road was gravel and there were always cars driving by going to the river, stirring up clouds of dust. The lake was nice. We fished and swam in it. In the winter we could watch bald eagles perched in the trees around the lake, waiting for a fish. Believe me, bald eagles aren't that majestic. They spend most of their time sitting in trees like giant crows. I always liked the seagulls better. They seemed so gracefull, always flying around calling to each other. Maybe if I had read Johnathan Livingston Bald Eagle I would have liked them better than seagulls. The swamp would freeze over and we would go skating, but none of us had ice skates. We would just wear the slickest shoes we had and run around and slide on the ice. What did we know. We just knew we were having fun, and Mom would have hot coco waiting when we got cold and went back inside.